Thursday 30 December 2010

playing with songs.

There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shines on me..

[>>|]

...Nobody on the road
Nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
The summer’s out of reach...


[>>|]


I never had a 'Summer of 69'
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?


[>>|]

Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong

[>>|]

Leaving isn't quite the same
You said to me, as runnin' away.

[|<<][|<<]

... and time, won't let me go...

Thursday 23 December 2010

Feeling christmasty.

And once again, its christmas. And there are, for real, many things that i am really thankful for.

But nth more, than my family.

And my very best friends.

Tuesday 21 December 2010

A clockwork orange.

Its wierd. That my souvenir from china comes in the form of books written in a language called english. Well. Not all of it. Some of it is in nadsat.

So yup.

"What's it going to be then, eh?"

Monday 13 December 2010

21

So. another day.

Another long day spent with my closest friends, and now I'm back. Here. Writing down perhaps what i should have wrote yesterday but never took the time to.

You know how ideas seem to flit into your head, spin around it for a moment, perhaps make you ponder upon it for a few seconds, let you make a mental note about it, then totally vanish and disappear, together with the mental note and the knowledge of ever thinking about it? That's perhaps the reason why nothing came out when i sat down to type last night. and why little, if anything if coming through right now as well. But i shall persevere, or at least try to finish this post before i sleep tonight.

So let's begin, shall we?

Firstly. I'm now 21. And yeah. It took me just long enough to get here. And its been a good journey so far. Its kinda cool when you think about it, the amounts of choices made everyday, of options forfeited, chances taken that led all the way up to today. Perhaps in one of a million parallel universe I celebrated yesterday alone, and perhaps in another i'm missing one group of friend, or another group in another, or perhaps it would've been the other way around, celebrating at say a club, or at a poolside with millions turning up. But I don't know how those parallel equals of mine would feel, but i certainly do feel quite awesome right here.

Pardon my eccentricities, its the once in a year time where i get to spout rubbish without people stopping me. Not that that stops me from talking nonsense most of the time, but i do appreciate this freedom.

And so on we go.

I'm thankful for that great night. the night of the 10th. of the last month of the year of the 10th. The night where in a way, my whole life lined in front of me, almost my whole life anyway. I had friends from my primary, secondary then university all attending. I look into faces and i see memories peering back at me, stories sometimes so blurred out, that their details get confused with one another. But perhaps that's what our brains do, it blurs out the lines, unfocus the details, so that the memories turn awesome, even perhaps better than experiencing it.

And on a more personal note, turning 21 seems to still have caused or at least started changes in me that me myself am still unable to fathom. It seems such a landmark. But then again, my brain is pretty famed within my body for raising false alarms and thinking too much about things. But then again, my brain is probably the only thing that is thinking inside my body. God damn Anatomy, i can now never think with my feet or my heart again.

And it seems strange typing this, perhaps because i have ran out of ideas of things to write about, which i am quite sure is not the case. Its simply a case of me not being able to remember those things i thought about earlier in the day, or since yesterday.

But yeah, let me just end of this post with a few thank yous.

Firstly my parents, and grandparents, and ancestors beyond, for after 5000 or so years of chance, produced me. For that, i am more than grateful. To my sis as well, for being such a nice sister, for the day. haha.

A big thank you to all of you that turned up on friday, and thanks to everyone who wanted to come but couldn't make it. Thanks to those who wished me happy birthday in person, by phone, or over the internet, you have made saturday a really special day for me. And thank you, all of you, who have been a part or another of this 21 years of my life, thank you, you who i forgotten, you who i shared laughs with, you who are perhaps reading this right now, and you who perhaps never even knew this existed. Thank you, for being part of a great 21 year journey that brought me here to the starting point of adulthood, a gateway i've waited for so long now. And last but not least, I thank my brothers who stayed the night. And let there be no doubt, I'll follow you into the dark.

Till next time.

Morpheus awaits.

Friday 10 December 2010

Save tonight

And we'll fight the break of dawn?

Its tonight. and i hope it'll be a good night.

Sunday 5 December 2010

of old things.

So its that time again.That time of year, where i get consumed with thoughts and reflections about the year past and the year's that's coming. Of struggles that I perhaps had, and those that would perhaps face soon. Its the time of the year that i try to think of a word or a phrase or a line from somewhere to in a way catalogue the year that has been. And yup. So here am I, lying semi-supine in my bed, trying to sort the random jumble of words in my brain into coherent sentences that perhaps i could understand.

So. here goes?

You know how they say that you wouldn't know how much you need/like/love something until you lost it. Well, in a way, this year is kinda summed up by that. I remember the initial doubt of facing melbourne. The fear and, alright, perhaps not so much of the fear, i remember looking forward to melbourne actually. It kinda felt like a new adventure. Which on hindsight, it is. And yeah, going there however, meant that i had to make sacrifices. I spent a year away from my family and friends. The simple pleasures of watching breakfast shows on TV in chinese, or not doing your own laundry was sorely missed. Things, i perhaps would not even think about if i had continued staying here. And food, oh how i missed the food. The simple things like beef noodles, or fried carrot cake. Oh how i missed them. But yep, it has been a great year and It would be unfair of me to dwell on the stuff that i missed while I'm there. For I had a great time there, learning about things i truly want to learn about, and learning to live independently, or as my parents constantly remind me, pseudo-independently. But I've learnt a great deal in the process, not things like how to cook or how to do my own laundry, or financial planning or things like that. I've learnt things I did not know about myself, and rediscovered some things. And perhaps, the new 'me' i found and believe in may be just a passing phrase and may be unrecognisable say 5 years from now. Its great to finally feel as though i know myself.

And now I'm back, I've realised just how much freedom I have had there and how much i sorely missed it. How i missed the late nights and the guiltless beers. The just sitting around in my room doing nothing kinda feeling. Being able to eat out whenever i want to, and at whatever time i want to. Oh How i missed that. I missed the slower pace of life of melbourne, I miss feeling not everything is about money, and that there are much more things than that. I miss holding my guitar in my hands and singing to myself, telling myself 'No woman, No cry' or 'Let it be'. I still do that here in singapore of course. But it just feels different facing four empty walls and sorta hoping someone out there could and would hear you.

It would be great, if i could combine just the good parts of both places and yeah, live it as one. But it would apparently seem that that is unattainable, at least not so in the near future, or for most parts of the foreseeable one. And so until perhaps that is a real option, it ain't bad having it in the ratio i have it now eh, 9 mths of freedom, 3 mths of fun.

I'm turning 21 in a week.

It seems just yesterday i was turning 18, 19, 20 and now today.

Was just reading past entries around my birthday, and it sure did bring a chuckle to my mouth as i look through the past. After all, it was the same guy who declared himself independent as a marquisdom, the same guy who insisted in writing an edict to his 'people' every birthday. What great times eh?

21? Bring on the key, bring on freedom, bring on adulthood.

I'm waiting on you with open arms. I really am. I've built my castle, and my armour, I've polished my sword, my shield and my gauntlets. Now bring on the dragons, and the princesses. I'm ready.