Beast

Sometimes i want a average life. You know, be perhaps a blacksmith, or a luthier, graduate from my apprenticeship at age 21. Find a common girl, and marry and then lead a somewhat average life with few indulgences and fewer desires. And wonder if how life like that would be amazingly good and perhaps enjoyable.

And then its then that i know, deep inside, the Wong would never accept that. He would want the dragon-slaying adventures and the maiden you have to fight past a horde of orcs, the lady stuck in a tower by witches, or the one accursed with a million year sleep. And somewhere, there's another who's willing to live his life as a outcast and a beast, just to wait for the right belle. Another who's willing to be cursed to be a frog, to wait for the heart of gold that would break the curse.

And i guess its the hardest, when the frog, or the beast, see the maiden right in front of him. Surrounded by courtsmen from kingdoms vast and rich. And yet find himself helpless to the situation. And sometimes perhaps, like once again, she is just the person that would make you go look for the star, and then actually find the star. And then hopefully, Someone out there is thinking the same thing.

Its the 88th minute, and i probably have a couple of shots left before full time and having to wait for the next match. Which judging by my performance, i'd not be first team again.

Oh wells.

The beast lives tonight.

Reflections on long travels

I admire gamemakers. A good gamemaker is a philosopher, a worldsmith, a crafter of dreams of sorts. Able to make sense of this nonsense and then convert it into a format that does.

And i was just thinking, in any good rpg theres the epic boss battles and cut scenes as well as good story lines. But then there will also be quests that make you think 'this is pointless'. But that doesnt make the game bad, in fact it sort of reflects real life. When sometimes u are summonned across the city just to pick up a couple of messages that could have been picked up on the phone.

Hungry, tired and sick but a more active than usual brain.

Till better times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfxVNRwrrwo&feature=feedrec_grec_index

Of farewells

I am not good at farewells. Not good at saying goodbyes. I've tried everything, from the old 'going-out-with-a-bang' to the 'slip-out-the-back-before-they-know-you-were-there'. The short and sweet fare thee wells, and the long dragged out slow dcresendo of friendships. Live long and Prospers and May the force be with you. Yet today, it seems that i am faced with another impending farewell yet again. I'm sorry, perhaps the farewell itself isn't the worse, its the period leading up to it.

Just recieved news of my posting next year to the Alfred, though that means that i've got my first choice and am able to stay with a couple of my best friends, it also means that i have to say goodbye to many of my other friends who sadly will be posted elsewhere. In the lecture an hour ago, while many were still estatic or heartbroken by their placements, i had suddenly the knowledge, that that could have well been one of our last lectures together. It's these moments where you suddenly look back at the two years that has almost past and look at the people who you've interacted with, and know that that's perhaps the last time you'd really interact with them, to really sit down in the same tutorial or even the same lecture hall to discuss stuff.

Its these moments where you suddenly think, where will everyone be next year. How would everyone be doing. And of course, where would she be.

Que Sera Sera my friend.

High, higher, higherer

And with the VIAs truly and surely upon me, like a dark cloud or something over the horizon. My mind have been forced to abandon its seek for the fun, sun and love and turn to more scholarly aspects of my life. Just a nicer way i supposed of saying, I'm finally motivated enough to study. Even then, i find myself more motivated to be distracted than to actually focus on my studies.

I find myself thinking (Caution: Med geek talk to follow) what if i was a certain hormone (TSH) or a certain enzyme, will i like my job? Will i be content to be just a messenger, a second messenger at that, to forward instructions on to further down the chain. Will i be happy that i will always need a co-factor, or co-worker to help me, or would that make my job a hell more interesting. And then i tried to think from above, like if i was the guy on top, the literal brain of the organisation. How would i manage this whole system. I mean, positive feedbacks are easy to work with, i do something, they feel right about it, and i increase output further. But negative feedback? I'm not sure if i could handle that that well. I mean, how willing would i be to put in so much effort in creating something, only for that guy to give me negative feedback? Would I be cool with that? Or would i simply dismantle the whole system there and then.

And then my daydreams get further away, i start thinking of the even higher above, of did he think of such things when he was designing us, or did he purposely set things up this way. After all there must be a higher power, i mean nothing would grow up and say 'I want to be a second messenger!' right? And then i tell myself, I'm just thinking of rubbish. At when another part of my brain says, 'hey wait a moment, we might be onto something here, the secret of life! The answer to the question of what's the question to the ultimate answer of life, universe and everything!'. Which the original boring part of my brain retorts 'No way, that's just lame'. And another part of brain joins in and say 'Hey could it be that you are part of the divine, sent here to stop me from discovering the answer to life!' and it builds on just like that, more diverse and crazy views one after another, joining in the giant public debate in my mind. Its called synapsing i think, something like synergy. All until one part of me says 'Enough!' 'Time for a break'. At which everyone agrees that perhaps getting more glucose is more important than whatever issue is at hand. All except that one voice who thinks he's on the verge of discovering the answer, still thinking that everyone is just being confused and distracted by higher powers, who would dissolve into nothingness if the brain actually sat down to work together to figure them out.

In centuries past, this could actually be considered blasphemy and i could be burnt, then hung, then drowned or something like that.

And also, i think i've sorta decided to move to tumblr, just not sure when. And a big thank you to all who have been here past, present or perhaps future. But that, is content for another post another day. haha.

Till next time.

Decision point.

I know i have only 3 readers maximum, so the choice is simple. to move to tumblr or not to move.