Greatest motivator

Was just reading, or in a way re-reading this as i was cleaning up my com. And yeah. i found in kinda nice which kinda set me thinking of the 'greatest motivator'. For i believe and heard somewhere once that there are two greatest motivators for everyone, that of love, and that of fear, and yeah. so i kinda present the other side of the story.

Love
the greatest motivator
burning from within
strengthening from without.

Love
That of the infant child
identifying his mother
right after birth in a bath
of blood.

Love
One of the anxious mother
as she waits at the dinner table
for the daughter
that would return to her.

Love
That of the newly in love
tugging at the first strands
of affection that
lead their way.

Love
In the presence of danger pure
steeling the heart,
the mind, the soul
yes strenghtening from
without.

Love
That of the homeless poor
and destitute
holding each other, hoping
for a better form
of life.

Love
One of the servant
to his Lord
obeying every command
abstaining from every wrong
in the hope of a better
life with his master.

Love
Of the soldier
urging the body
of a fellow comrade
dodging bullets, grenades
and death,
immune to pain
in his heart
or holes

in his chest.

And Love
The greatest of motivators
giving strength
to the hopeless
From where love is born

so too will courage,
hope and strength.

The child that cries,
the mother that hopes,
the lover that waits,
the hunted that fights,
the destitute that earns,
the believer that prays,
and the soldier,
the soldier,
the soldier that is me.

Of night marches and orchid blooms

Its been a less-than-perfect saturday. but yeah. its no less good than normal ones. It started last night with 'Get Smart', which is what i would actually advice the movie, for its jokes are not smart at all and mediocre at best.. but mayb its just the trailer giving too much away before the movie.

Walked home from tamp to pasir ris with, Lai, Hoe and reubs at the end of the movie, Its not long for seasoned walkers, for those who have walked the lengths of east coast park or from jurong to pasir ris or something like that. But for me, its kinda a long distance. But yeah, night walks are nice. The ambiance fantastic and yeah the mood sleepy.

Today borrowed some book at the library, after which spent some time walking around orchard. which was kinda nice. especially with the company. and yeah. love being a pillow.

Was just looking at my garden outside, or well, pots of plants, but yeah. I found out that every stalk of orchid could only flower once. and after that, they will never again. which is kinda cool i guess. And yeah, its kinda ironic. To know that something will end as it starts, like the new bloom of my orchid plant. Shall use the orchid plants somewhere in my stories next time. yeah.

Sleeping late the past few days have been taking a toll on me. seem so tired right now.

so yeah.
till nxt time.

signing off.

Glimmer Extinguished

Ok. my appeal was unsuccesful. Not that i expected it to be in the first place. So yeah. I'm not too much affected by it. But there goes my little glimmer of hope. haha. But yeah.

1. there are still 119 Universities that have recognised medicine degrees overseas.

and

2. I'm altogether having doubts bout this whole medicine thing as shown in this paper where i wrote my thoughts on...
.

Kinda confused right now. so yeah. will appreciate any help.

Any psychologist around that could help me solve this? Help me look inside me for answers?

Class outing.

It has been quite a busy wkend. with two class outings on 2 nights in a row. though its with different classes. But am now quite tired after 2 consecutive days of sleeping late.

But it has been kinda nice meeting the class. of ppl i haven seen in quite some time, not counting those times i met one or two of them on the bus. And yeah. everyone's have changed but remained the same. And sorry i can't seem to remember a lot of ppl. I mean, i think if i am able to see them in person, i would be able to put the names on their face but i just can't do it the other way round. sorry. Anyway. thanks to all that came and to all that wanted but couldn't for your time. haha. you guys made my night last night. Pics are available here.

was just thinking bout everything again somehow, cos of the topic that's still on everyone's mind, Uni admission. Kinda emo bout the fact that after what's 10 years of education we are all going to just go on seperate paths from now on. flying halfway across the earth to pursue what we call our future. Its a big word, future. It could change the hardest of men and yeah bring deepest fear and avoidance to the cowardly. And yeah. sometimes i hope life was simpler, and everyone shall remain together in the same place for a lifetime like in a village years ago, one of substantial size, but yet no one ever leaves that place. Its kinda sad to know that i will never see some of those i know again, and that i already will never for some, barring some great improbable probability. And yeah. Its not a small world after all. Imagine, 9 billion and growing number of us if squeezed together will not even cover like 5 % of the world's surface area. and flights still take hours and hours and the prices of flights still aren't exactly what you may call cheap. Which is why i guess the present and the past must be cherished. For we'lll never get to see some of us again. Imagine say 2 years or more of running around together and doing everything together spending half a day with each other, then that person just suddenly vanishes off a plane one day or say you just vanish of the plane one day. which is what i fear, one day when i pursue what is my education overseas, will i vanish and not know anyone when i return. I could deal with loneliness in an unfamilliar and lonely place, but i do not think i could in a place with so much memories and happy times. And yeah. It'll be a sad day when i go overseas again.

And yeah. I'll miss you then, won't I?
ttyl.

till nxt time.
Enjoy the rest of your wkend.

What a week.

Its been a fantastic week. though i was sick through it. and finding kinda hard to write it down in words. so yeah. the absence of posting the last few days.

Army has been as army should be and nothing short of routine and boring and there is seriously nothing to talk about it. cept of course of the 2 deaths recently in army. condolences to the families and friends of those affected. Its kinda sad when they probably didn't want to be there in the first place. Its one thing dying for the country and another to die due to the country. And i dunno if they even get a military burial or just a few dollars compensation. For i guess no money is ever enough to pay for such a loss and the least they can do is to offer the deceased the highest honour they could offer. That of a military burial.

Anyway.. :)
happiest day yet.

wonderful wednesday.

Emergency.

Well. It has been a great week i would say. despite some lonely days and nights in my new camp. yeah. I'm kinda liking my job now that i grasp what is it about.

Sure, most of the time i am just standing around triaging and registering patients. And even more of the time i am idling around. But yeah. once stuff happens the job suddenly becomes important and that is what happened when there was an emergency case this week. and i was in the ambulance. can't really describe my feelings but yeah. i would say that i would have aced my medicine interview have i had this experience. I mean, the way at which an emergency is handled and the responsibility of the MO and the way it inspired me is in no way small. The way at which the MO has to respond within seconds to save someone's life and the aura of command he gives as he handles the treatment room and the way the MO fight's with death over a person's life and refusing to give in to death's threats and bribes. And refusing to slacken until the patient is stable and finally satisfaction when one life saved. That i guess is the job of a doctor, its not only changing life, Its negotiating them from death, refusing to let go even under pressure. Its not only earning pay, but of self satisfaction, and the joy of the kinsmen of the patient, eagerly awaiting outside the treatment room. Its not repayment of services recieved, but the replanting of seeds of goodwill sown in us by the huge trees of men before us. Its the engineering of society,preventing bridges and links from falling apart. Its the gardening of humanity, saving the roots and protecting the new fruits of the tree of life. Its the pastor of science, making miracles from scientific roots, uniting it with religion and faith. And yeah. though i may not get into the appeal to NUS. My mind is now pretty much really set on medicine, and seeing the MO perform makes me realise how far i am from being a true doctor. I mean, there i was panicking over the person's life and to be able to control not only himself, but a whole team of medics is something applaudable. yeah. he may not be the best doctor around, but he has certainly performed his duties well. So.. yeah. I'm gonna go medicine.. whatever it takes.

haha.

On another note.
Miss you dear. :)

A spectacular year

It has been hasn't it.
Rarely a roller coaster could match its up and downs.
And if Morpheus decides to open his library for open borrowing one day,
I'm sure this would be one of the most borrowed.
But the book will be unfinished.
For the dream has not ended had it.
In fact, its looking better than ever.
And let's hope it never ends.
And let the dreams continue
You won't read this till some days later.
For you'll be in a foreign land,
yet still under the same skies.
Enjoy yourself, have fun
For even though i know how very far apart we are,
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.
And in all of the night sky,
A single constellation will do,
A constellation of one.
A constellation of you. :)

Artillery.

just got posted to 24SA. artillery. for those, including myself, who didn't had a clue what the hell that stood for. and yeah. life there kinda lonely. sucks cos i kinda need friends, but who knows mayb its just the first day syndrome. mayb i shall make more friends as i go along. mayb. gotta accept stuff as it is though. cos this is army, things just dun go your way. and yeah, you just have to turn it around to fit yourself. kinda tough actually. but yeah.

bad thing bout being posted there is the large amt of overseas excersize. unlike many others, i dun really want them. yeah. prefer to spend my wkends in singapore. and yeah. there are rumours of RT. and can't really do much if i'm stuck in the medical centre most of the time. and yeah. I do need my wkends off.

and yeah.
tabasco and pepper mayb nice,
but the taste of the food must first be divine.
:)

down with cold

stupid cold is killing me.
I hate colds
This kinda stupid disease makes me well, yet sick
allows u to do everything in a semi-fit state.
and worst of all
tomorrow's posting day
kinda bad if i report to my new unit sick.

but the cold is kinda good,
it blocks my mind from thinking about the
million what if's of tomorrow
and allows me to sleep easier
though drug induced.

and the best thing bout the cold,
I'm still able to go out with you this wkend. :)