Rain stops.

Don't stop me now.

'That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit, I'm travelling at the speed of light'

I once jumped down a 10 metre platform into a pool of water without so much as a moments hesitation. I once sang in front of a full concert hall, without a shiver or in my voice. I once danced, and made a complete fool out of myself in public, without even thinking about it. I took needles 16 gauge, twice a week once, on both arms at the same time, as my peers struggle with fears of needles and blood. I once sat in the back of the ambulance with a person bound for ER, without smelling any fear. I, not for a single time, backed down for a pontentially ruinous challenge in football. I spoke in front of a whole choir before, telling them tales of courage and ability, without flinching.

Yet nothing, would prepare me for pressing the top left button on my phone.

"Don't stop me now"

Grapefruit moon.

550

"How many years can some people exist,
Before they're allowed to be free"

And here we are, post 550. and 6 years on this blog. I was reading it on my itouch a couple days back, and damn, it seems that i've lost alot of things on the way to 550. Gone were the many musing moments i had while i was in army, perhaps an overdose of work, or maybe being overly free has something to do with that. But then again, perhaps its just laziness creeping in, or perhaps just a change in my mood or way of life.

Have slightly less that one and a half month left of my time in singapore this time, and boy did I had a good time. Chilling out with friends, the lonely hearts club, celebrating my 21st. doing crazy things that is making me part of a viral video amongst my friends now. I had fun. lots of it.

Maybe its got something do with turning 21, maybe is because some things have changed after spending a year abroad. Or maybe its not me at all. Despite all the fun, i find myself missing melbourne a little. and perhaps maybe more than a little. How do i put this. I need freedom. I need to be able to sleep at whatever time i want at night, perhaps to finish a movie, or maybe finish talking to a friend, without anyone telling me how late nights are going to affect my health. I need to be able to go out, without receiving calls and messages in harsh tones asking me to come home early and further messages telling me how bad late nights are again. I know I am young, and perhaps i do not truly know everything the wisdom of the world has to offer, and I even know I would perhaps regret some of the things I've done, or are doing now. But i dunno, i just feel that i need some space, to at least make these mistakes for now. I am 21, people make mistakes when they are 21. I am not proud of it, but I like my lifestyle now, not the one you try to put on me, my own one. I'm sorry I'm not great at sleeping early or spending time doing things that are 'productive' or being religious or stuff. I'm sorry for wanting to eat crab meat, and frog legs porridge, and not vegetarian fare. I'm sorry if i don't talk or communicate to you guys now, because all you ever talk about is buddhism, and if not, from a buddhist perspective, or health conciousness. I rather be awkward. I rather come home, and we just watch tv together without trying to make a deep serious conversation, maybe just a couple of 'how is your days' or 'eat some fruits' or 'funny show on tv eh'. I don't need someone to ask me if i know the ill effects of alcoholism. And on that, I have been seriously limiting my alcohol intake, or my gaming time. Not because i am affected by them, not because anyone but you feel that i am affected by them. Only because i do not want another fight.

And on that, I believe you guys are seeing me the wrong way, and its sad, but i don't think i can do anything to change that, and i won't. I really don't need this.

I really look forward to the day that you can treat me as a real human, and allow me to make my own choices and write my own story.

Till next time.

Wong.
Doing silly things since 1989.

damn. why the hell did i do that?

Please remember me.

And this be a great song. And I'm adding it to my funeral's playlist.

What? I hear many of you exclaim. But yeah, I always have this fascination with death, the cool parts of it anyway. The beauty of a rainy day and grey umbrellas in a background of grey and green, dotted and littered with white tombstones. Or the way it unites us all, for sometimes an afternoon, and sometimes for the remainder of our lives, which after that runs out, serves to unite those after us.

So please. Remember me?

Time left for love?

I lost all my friends in an accident.
I couldn't believe what happened.
Are you coming home tonight, and is there time left for love?

The rumours said it was a serial killer
but they got hit by a caterpillar.
You know the engine was still on, I smashed a window,
I could go on. You know it was a very easy decision,
she knew exactly how to please him.
Is she coming home tonight, and is there time left for love?

For love?

You. Somebody should tell you to stop.
I feel it coming out of my eyeballs.
Is it just because you're jealous?
You. Somebody should tell you why
I'm crawling out of my skin.
Is it just because we're old friends?
Or is it because of love?

She took his hand in the emergency room,
the doctor said he'd be back soon
so I put her down on the floor. A quick look and we drank some more.
In a city where nothing really happens
it's so strange that all this happened to them.
Is he coming home tonight, and is there time left for love?

You. Somebody should tell you to stop.
I feel it coming out of my eyeballs.
Is it just because you're jealous?
You. Somebody should tell you why
I'm crawling out of my skin.
Is it just because we're old friends?
Or is it because of love?

I lost all my friends in an accident.
I couldn't believe what happened.
Is there time left for love, and are you coming home tonight?

God damn west ham.

And so 2010 ends. The year of the number. 10. I have probably reflected upon it before, but perhaps its the end of the year, or maybe a cumulation of recent events, not even so, of perhaps dreams, made up in my head, and screwin around with it, and then finally deciding to leave it alone.

Its wierd, how i put my ipod on and without fail, i click shuffle everytime, yet I'd fast forward songs, as thought i already have a set list in mind, and its not only the odd one or two songs that i skip, it sometimes goes from song no. 3 to song no. 42 without so much as a pause. And its always the same songs that i stop at, 'Time won't let me go', 'rainbow connection' and a host of others. Which in a way is even wierder when you consider the fact that those songs feature heavily in my blog especially in the start of the year. What has this got to do with this post? everything, and perhaps nothing. It's just one of the patterns I see as I go along.

And so yes. looking back in 2010. What have i accomplished. Its funny, cause all the while during the year, I seem to be doing so much, living life and studying, making friends, yet now, it all seems wierdly empty.

And the mood has slipped away from me again.

Till next time then.

[shuffle]

I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.
They fly so high,
nearly reach the sky.
Then like my dreams they fade and die...

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