of emptiness

Alright. 2 months in, and finally a weekday away from the hustle and bustle of school life. And in this quiet i found instead of peace, a little irritation and a little annoyance. Something that bothers my mind to no end. Maybe i am sick, or maybe that's not the main reason. Maybe its because my world seems blurred today, without my specs (2 pairs of specs broke in 2 months here, not my fault). And maybe even, its because the sun is now setting a little after 6pm, disturbing my inner chakra or something like that, who knows.

School has now settled into a series of lectures and tutorials and running away from them, as i slowly machinate myself again as i slowly try to find ways to accomodate this machination. Like i want to enjoy studying, but my little friend called stress is not allowing that. Just when i thought i was going good at my own pace, little stress comes along knocking. And so the tussling and fighting begins again.

But then again, it may just be the specs. Like i don't feel right seeing things but not seeing them right. Like i am missing my eye of the tiger or something.

Its wierd, but its true, how life occurs in cyclical flows. Awesomeness days are often followed by days in the shithole. Like 2 weeks ago things will going rockingly, my toner still has ink, my guitar was restrung, itunes on shuffle were churning out good songs, and i was basically having the time of my life, and most importantly, i had my specs on or at least contacts on some days. Today, after accumulation of several days, I am 63 dollars poorer, my toner is out, my itunes tell me that there is gonna be 'heartache tonight' , and even soccer didn't feel right just now. And when soccer don't feel right, things ain't right.

Like you know, how sometimes you just feel souless, like, no, its not a sudden loss of sensation, more of a slow accumulation of everything that leaves you just tired, void of feelings, and just sitting around not thinking. Not unlike losing a love that you never had, or suddenly realising that the full moon wasn't actually full.

Today is a day i miss my friends.

Oh well. Time for Star Wars Ep 6. Lets let luke try to cheer me up.

till next time.