High, higher, higherer

And with the VIAs truly and surely upon me, like a dark cloud or something over the horizon. My mind have been forced to abandon its seek for the fun, sun and love and turn to more scholarly aspects of my life. Just a nicer way i supposed of saying, I'm finally motivated enough to study. Even then, i find myself more motivated to be distracted than to actually focus on my studies.

I find myself thinking (Caution: Med geek talk to follow) what if i was a certain hormone (TSH) or a certain enzyme, will i like my job? Will i be content to be just a messenger, a second messenger at that, to forward instructions on to further down the chain. Will i be happy that i will always need a co-factor, or co-worker to help me, or would that make my job a hell more interesting. And then i tried to think from above, like if i was the guy on top, the literal brain of the organisation. How would i manage this whole system. I mean, positive feedbacks are easy to work with, i do something, they feel right about it, and i increase output further. But negative feedback? I'm not sure if i could handle that that well. I mean, how willing would i be to put in so much effort in creating something, only for that guy to give me negative feedback? Would I be cool with that? Or would i simply dismantle the whole system there and then.

And then my daydreams get further away, i start thinking of the even higher above, of did he think of such things when he was designing us, or did he purposely set things up this way. After all there must be a higher power, i mean nothing would grow up and say 'I want to be a second messenger!' right? And then i tell myself, I'm just thinking of rubbish. At when another part of my brain says, 'hey wait a moment, we might be onto something here, the secret of life! The answer to the question of what's the question to the ultimate answer of life, universe and everything!'. Which the original boring part of my brain retorts 'No way, that's just lame'. And another part of brain joins in and say 'Hey could it be that you are part of the divine, sent here to stop me from discovering the answer to life!' and it builds on just like that, more diverse and crazy views one after another, joining in the giant public debate in my mind. Its called synapsing i think, something like synergy. All until one part of me says 'Enough!' 'Time for a break'. At which everyone agrees that perhaps getting more glucose is more important than whatever issue is at hand. All except that one voice who thinks he's on the verge of discovering the answer, still thinking that everyone is just being confused and distracted by higher powers, who would dissolve into nothingness if the brain actually sat down to work together to figure them out.

In centuries past, this could actually be considered blasphemy and i could be burnt, then hung, then drowned or something like that.

And also, i think i've sorta decided to move to tumblr, just not sure when. And a big thank you to all who have been here past, present or perhaps future. But that, is content for another post another day. haha.

Till next time.