Star.

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better.

And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey, Jude! Don't let her down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember, to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder

Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

perhaps that star in the night sky will be mine at long last..

for now. good night.

back from the field

Back after 2 wks in the pseudo-wilderness that is field camp where i stayed in one remote area of tekong for 6 days and 5 nights neath the rubber trees and starry skies. cant write much here cos most of it is well.. classified.. and my wkends are worth much more than writing those stuff here. not worth the risk is it?

but really. field camp makes you see everyone clearer.. who is a true friend and who is just there cos he must be. and who is a true leader and who isnt. and sleeping alone in the shellscrape makes you think even more. with the all engulfing darkness and i was thinking abit about everything.. like how when you are young you fear the night and as you grow older, you love it more and more.. at first you hate its chilly night winds and the darkness it entails.. then when you become a young child.. you see the moon and think you finally got a friend, one who would follow you wherever you go without fail but you still fear those dark days when the moon is not around and the darkness overruns you again. And as you grow even older.. you begin to see the stars, not as bright as the moon but everpresent and providing a eternal light however dark the night might be. and then you find a star of your own and know that its always there for you no matter what happens for it will never extinguish before you do.

and also thought of what it mean to be a true leader. and is punishment really the way to strenghten us? they ask for high morale and discipline but does discipline means punishment for every small mistake made? and how could we have high morale when they degrade us at every instance possible.. shouting and scolding us at the top of their voices? and they punish us for being slow, but doesnt punishing us for 30mins or so makes us even later for the activities? dunno. just dun think its right for them to hurl vulgarities at us in every language imaginable.. whatever's happened to professionalism?

anyway... gtg..

till nxt time.

out for a breather.

ok.. i'm back for a little more than 8 hours.. after which i still have one 24 hour guard duty which kinda sux..

my mind is running at super fast speed now since i only have limited time out and of course these hours have to be dedicated solely to doing stuff to prepare for 2 wks in the wilderness.. ok.. one week.. but since i cant book out for 2 wks... its 2 wks in the wilderness..

and since i cant write about anything army related since its a chargable offence... i couldn't really write much.. how could you write something else when one thing is occupying your mind almost 24/7 where every morn you wake up to the same old routine and do another same old routine at night... Its a wonder they still need a Routine order, which is kinda oxymoronic since why do you need orders when its a routine already?

army sux btw. cant wait for my 2 yrs to end.

till nxt time

went out wif joko, zhou, reub and ran yesterday and chilled around..

nth much to write about. just the usual stuff. i'm losing some of my creativity here.

shall write when my creative juices flow again.

Tribute to Sir Edmund Hillary

Sir Edmund Hillary (1919-2008)
I know not much about him, cept for the fact that he was a New Zealander and the first ever man to climb Everest. but today, i guess, he is at ever rest. I respect him, for the humanitarian efforts he had made but most of all for being the first to scale the highest peak of the world. Being fearful of heights as i always am, i could not climb up more than say 7 stories( where my house is) and be not afraid when i look down, and to be able to scale such heights is thus a very respectable feat for me.

And thus i dedicate this post to him.. for a hero.. for one who could say he has been to the top of the world without feeling ashamed about it.

Punishment

It has not been a good week. this week. will be getting 2x guard duty cos i forgot to lock the cupboard.. and apparently its a 'serious' offence and a 'breach of security' and i am thus gonna get the guard duty. hopefully the other ppl who kena are fun ppl also so can have fun while doing stupid guard duty.

and cough is coming back.. this time worst...and the best of all.. this genius typing this forgot to bring home his medicine..

nth much else.. should go rest soon.. till nxt time.

alone.

Well. Alone at home. at such situations kinda make me emo since i have nothing in particular to do with no one in particular to talk to and all i have is myself with perhaps a few songs on the computer. Emo on nothing in particular. but well.. that's it.. me.

watched national treasure just now. the show was mediocre at best.. and the plot cliched. but sometimes.. its the company that you watches it with that matters. thks.

army again tomorrow..but at least i have a few more hours of freedom before that..

good night.

Call of guard duty.

keep pushing back this post.. cos of issues of utmost importance such as national security as well as games. The factual parts first. Booked out on thurs night. met s4 for lunch at surf n turf on fri after borrowing a few comics and books from the library, afterwhich wet TTSH for the TB checkup of which i have to go back for a follow up on monday. Then the trouble came. As i was preparing my horde for the battle. with my trolls impatient and goblins irritable, suddenly i recieved a call. which said something like "Agent 4407. There is a job that requires your expertise. Do you accept. Details will be given upon acceptance of the job." and being so absorbed in the game i said "ya". which is where heaven tumbled over me. and well.. i was called back for a 24 guard duty at a classified location. talk about a 'call of duty'..... lolz.

and thus here am i, just finished with that guard duty of mine. which was boring but kinda exciting at the same time. boring in the way that i walked in circles.. many times.. just the same route over and over again.. but exciting having heard the many stories and wanting to encounter an adventure myself.. having dreamt of slaying a wild boar with an SOG the night before the guard duty... i did heard the boar.. but me n my partner ( or my sidekick as i prefer to put it) went scared and ran away instead of towards the boar's grunt. And there is the view.. after the rain last night.. the sky was unobstructed and the stars were simply put.. mesmerizing.. which is now by far my most favourite word to describe something beautiful now.. like.. Wong is mesmerizing. lolz.

going out later again. luckily i dun have to book in tonight.. lolz.

nth much else. so till nxt time. ( actually there is, but i left my notebook in the bunk and dun rmb wad i wrote inside.)

lolz.

New year part 2

Since i had a little of time on my hands now decided to do another post before thursday or friday when i next bookout. Just went around singapore with my cousins in what is their first visit here. tiring as went trodden over Chinatown to Merlion etc. and still could not find the book i was looking for at bras basah just now.. but never mind that.

was just thinking bout the year that has been and the year that will be.. and how this year is gonna different from the past 2 yr. well. The past 2 yr sort of came as a package and well as i said many times before, it has been one hell of a ride. one i would not have thought possible if you asked me 2 yrs ago. and i think army will definitely not compare to that. but who knows?

and thus for the first time i shall write about army life.. a general entry with names changed again to protect not theirs but my identity for fear of punishment, 'charges' and everything inclusive.

Army have been sort of random at the beginning, having slack days and real tiring ones in no particular order at all.. but now after bout 3 wks? it has settled into a cycle. with upper limbs one day and lower limbs the other. both equally exhausting and by every means torturous, on both mind and body. still have not really got suited into army lifestyle.. the huge gap between those with power and those under it. the way the former is able to punish the latter for seemingly innocuous stuff and being able to scold at the latter and laugh with the others at the same time. and thus my conclusion.. the physical strains of the army could be overcome by an indomitable will but the mental pressure they set you.. the scolding and the way they make you fear bringing the whole team down.. is painful.. for me at least.. every short march is a gruelling experience, with me fearing of putting one step out of line or one hand out of sync. and from others, i know my marching aint anywhere near perfect.. especially sine i have this habit of walking with my toes hitting the ground first cos i feel its faster to pick up speed and much more lifting if i walk that way.. or just because it is just an old habit. just have to change.. and there is this thing called the route march.. which turned from enjoyable for the first, to gruelling in the second to unfeeling in the third (for me, 4th for the rest.) and there is the weapon.. i have always since young been facisnated by them... not that i am an extremely violent kinda person (sometimes i am, but those burst are rare) but i just liked them.. though i like swords and blades better.. and if i was born in ancient times i would have been a swordsmith. anyway. i cant help to think bout the gun.. have it killed before in its life which is longer than mine? Was it part of a war once? Viet War or Korea War perhaps? or even world war 2? has it been a hero's companion once? or was it nothing but cold metal, made to train soldiers like us who would not even use them in times of war? somehow the least appealing of the answers (ie the last) seems the most possible. and it has been more than a handicap than an assitance.. with us having to drag it all along and the many rules concerning it and the way we have to protect it 'with our lives'.. i mean its honorable for a knight to protect his sword with his life.. but a weapon decades old that have not been chosen by the soldier nor chose the soldier but a piece of metal forcefully forced into his hands as his so called 'wife'.. but nevertheless.. i am fine with the weapon.. so dun sue me or anything for not loving my weapon.. and i killed with it.. albeit it was only an ant crawling too near the butt of the gun while i was bored.

and talking bout weapons i was thinking one night in camp bout what if war broke out.. i definitely dun think i am ready for one.. for one thing i am not ready to fight.. my daydreams are filled with plans of glorious last stands and cool phrases in times like that.. one i thought of was 'give me a gun and magazine and i shall kill my enemies with it and when i run out of bullets i will use the bayonet and pierce through as many as i could and when my bayonet is blunted i shall use the butt of my weapon as a club and break as many more as i could and when the weapon is but one piece of junk i shall discard it and fight with my bare fists until my knuckles are broken and my body weary and then and there i shall plant myself into the ground and stare at my enemies and then i shall rest.' shall insert it into the story i am writing somewhere.. but the real me aint ready for war.. i mean.. its a scary prospect.. of killing.. dun think i will ever be capable of doing so.. its difficult to incapitate say a chicken.. let alone a man, capable of dreams and everything i could..

anyway.. this is one cool new year wish i found on neil gaiman's..

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't to forget make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

and yeah.. i wish everyone the same thing too..

time to get ready to book in..

New year

Another year come and gone and the world is once again a year older. what could i say, the past year i have already covered in my post on my birthday and well.. it has been quite a ride hadn't it. But the last month after my birthday have been amazing if not spectacular too. The pain of being enlisted just 48 hours after my birthday. The comfort in finding there are others like me. and the joy of making friends, new friends from my bunk mates roy. alvin. melvin. zhixuan. tianxiang. suhaile. dongchai. jeremy. hee yang. and jun wei. to matthew of attend B, Eugene of brokeback, the guy who call me green lantern and others.. army is a better place(not perfect though) place with them..

anyway. since my nxt yr is in army.. i dun really have many resolutions cept to perhaps make it into either sispec or OCS depending on my results and physical ability. but either will be good enough.

anyway. wishing all a happy new yr.