Operator

lack of post this wkend cos was kinda busy. Mummy, monster hunting, section4 outing and football in that order. it was fun overall cept for the football being spoilered by some idiots kicking a ball and a new injury i got on my foot. but otherwise a somewhat good weekend, if slightly emo.

Thinking alot, sometimes bout stuff that makes me feel better and sometimes stuff that makes me feel one hell worst. but yeah. i guess it takes time for me. and yeah. I know the way. but nonetheless kinda reminded of this song though.

Operator, oh could you help me place this call
You see the number on the matchbook is old and faded
She’s livin’ in l.a.
With my best old ex-friend ray
A guy she said she knew well and sometimes hated

Isn’t that the way they say it goes
But let’s forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell them I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow
I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
But that’s not the way it feels

Operator, oh could you help me place this call
’cause I can’t read the number that you just gave me
There’s something in my eye’s
You know it happens every time
I think about the love that i thought would save me

Isn’t that the way they say it goes
But let’s forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell them I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow
I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn’t real
But that’s not the way it feels

Operato,r oh let’s forget about this call
There’s no one there I really wanted to talk you
Thank you for your time
Oh you’ve been so much more than kind
And you can keep the dime

Isn’t that the way they say it goes
But let’s forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell them I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow
I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn’t real
But that’s not the way it feels...

and that's bout it for this wkend. haha
writing this at the medical center now actually. haha.
kinda nice place, gonna stay here for the whole olympic period. lol.

till nxt time

wise words

Wise words from a friend.

If you want to enjoy a symphony,
Don't hold on to a few bars of the music,
Don't hold on to a couple of notes,
let them pass,
let them flow.
The whole enjoyment of a symphony lies in your readiness to allow the notes to pass.
Flow.

For the first time in 6 months. I'm having serious book in blues. the tekong kind.

the myth of uniquity

You know how everyone thinks they are unique then songs and conversations suddenly show that hey. we aren't that different after all? Everyone wants to think they are unique, even me, my feelings my thoughts, then a few words just show that everyone around me, our lives are parallel and sometimes very so? Everyone's special only because we know not about others who are equally 'special' including ourselves.

which is why i say.
move on.
not only me.
all of us.

What would think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
He gets high with a little help from his friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you're on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I'm gonna to try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

And yes. I get by with a little help from my friends. (and a little beer of course)

there's so much one man can think on his own.
but there's so much more when he has a friend.
thks bud.

yeah.
thks for talking some sense into me.
there are other ppl that counts.
and yeah.
its just not worth it.

there's a blog by my friend once and he locked it away permanently. though i have copies due to my RSS feed. and yeah. i thought he didn't make sense last time. but he do now.

itsfinished.

Why does the sun go on shining
Why does the sea rush to shore
Don't they know it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me any more

Why do the birds go on singing
Why do the stars glow above
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything's the same as it was
I can't understand, no, I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does

Why does my heart go on beating
Why do these eyes of mine cry
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye

Why does my heart go on beating
Why do these eyes of mine cry
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye

Final Whistle.

Its time.
I've removed many things.
but yes.
I've had my last stand.
Deleted stuff that i should.
Days are gonna be different from now on.
But yeah.
I'll make them count.
Its time for some air and change.

Tonight i hold delight's vigil.
As delight is now delirium.

Its wondrous how technology makes 'forgetting' so easy.

[update 2215hrs] In real life its not so easy.
If you are here. If anyone is here.
Save me. Please.
Ok. Maybe not you.
You seem to have your new appointments now.
Someone else. Save me.
Who hears my heart scream.
I need some resolve.

full.stop.

at a lost of words here right now.
but yeah.
every chapter must have an conclusion.
I just ain't sure how to end it.
but yes.
it must be.
for it was me who said that last time.
and i always hold true to my words.

you know, about 10 months or more ago i posted this defender's dillemma and the striker's problem or something and yeah. just been thinking bout this. imagine you scored a goal, well, a contested one, and you are jubilant, perhaps too much so. that you got a yellow card for 'over zealous' celebrations. And the manager offers to sub you off. do you go off? yes. i say. for sometimes at the peak of your game, your vision gets cluttered, your confidence too high. that you just have to take a step back, nod your head, and applause the audience. and then, proudly, take a bow.

You know how somethings seem nicer when they're at a distance from you? so desirable, as though it would complete every part of you. and then when you get it, you're pretty fine with it and in fact happy bout it but it just didn't hit that expectation you have and then you kid yourself into believing that it had? and someday you just hit that sudden realisation that you're actually living a mirage?

Being a dreamer means you have to face the nightmares too.

but yeah. thanks my brothers.
for being there for me when yeah.
i need you or not.
Brothers. Eternal.