Inspired

Alright. Its 4 minutes and and 2 and a half days to my exams. And i find myself here. slightly worried. A little stressed. And once again thinking why am i going through all this.

Its easy to see the practical reason. Get a job. Earn my pay. For that's what we need to continue to live eh? Stable job, stable pay. Pay off my parents. Bring up my children. Buy a car. and a plasma TV. and perhaps live well in a big house.

Its harder to see though, how am i trying to achieve my dreams. Its hard to see, how is being a doctor an alternative for someone who from young wanted to be a dragon slaying knight of an ancient chinese empire. Or a power ranger. Or a mutant. And I have to secretly admit. I have not given up on half of those dreams. Its easy to see the end. Where i want to be, standing amongst the savannah of africa, outside my medical tentage, watching the sun fall behind the great accacia trees, surrounded by a dozen people i just treated. Or in my clinic, closing up for the night, shelving up the files of the poor i just treated. Or taking off my blue ER PPT suit, smiling as i enjoy another 'one live saved' moment.

Many say its the journey that counts. Yet this journey is difficult and rough to say the least. And this time, i have much less to depend on. All along the way so far, the bicycle of childhood had the guide wheels firmly screwed on. For the first time, I am riding without the guide wheels. And for the first time, perhaps there's nth to catch me if i fall. And for the first time, i am out of my comfort zone of maths and physics. love them as i may. For the first time, my abilities to calculate my ways out of a situation is as good as knowing how to write english poems in ancient china.

There are many things i would like to tell myself 10 years from now. And perhaps 10 years from now, there will be many things i would like to tell myself too. But yes. I would know them. Wouldn't I?

In any case. That's something for another post sometime later.