Please remember me.

And this be a great song. And I'm adding it to my funeral's playlist.

What? I hear many of you exclaim. But yeah, I always have this fascination with death, the cool parts of it anyway. The beauty of a rainy day and grey umbrellas in a background of grey and green, dotted and littered with white tombstones. Or the way it unites us all, for sometimes an afternoon, and sometimes for the remainder of our lives, which after that runs out, serves to unite those after us.

So please. Remember me?

Time left for love?

I lost all my friends in an accident.
I couldn't believe what happened.
Are you coming home tonight, and is there time left for love?

The rumours said it was a serial killer
but they got hit by a caterpillar.
You know the engine was still on, I smashed a window,
I could go on. You know it was a very easy decision,
she knew exactly how to please him.
Is she coming home tonight, and is there time left for love?

For love?

You. Somebody should tell you to stop.
I feel it coming out of my eyeballs.
Is it just because you're jealous?
You. Somebody should tell you why
I'm crawling out of my skin.
Is it just because we're old friends?
Or is it because of love?

She took his hand in the emergency room,
the doctor said he'd be back soon
so I put her down on the floor. A quick look and we drank some more.
In a city where nothing really happens
it's so strange that all this happened to them.
Is he coming home tonight, and is there time left for love?

You. Somebody should tell you to stop.
I feel it coming out of my eyeballs.
Is it just because you're jealous?
You. Somebody should tell you why
I'm crawling out of my skin.
Is it just because we're old friends?
Or is it because of love?

I lost all my friends in an accident.
I couldn't believe what happened.
Is there time left for love, and are you coming home tonight?

God damn west ham.

And so 2010 ends. The year of the number. 10. I have probably reflected upon it before, but perhaps its the end of the year, or maybe a cumulation of recent events, not even so, of perhaps dreams, made up in my head, and screwin around with it, and then finally deciding to leave it alone.

Its wierd, how i put my ipod on and without fail, i click shuffle everytime, yet I'd fast forward songs, as thought i already have a set list in mind, and its not only the odd one or two songs that i skip, it sometimes goes from song no. 3 to song no. 42 without so much as a pause. And its always the same songs that i stop at, 'Time won't let me go', 'rainbow connection' and a host of others. Which in a way is even wierder when you consider the fact that those songs feature heavily in my blog especially in the start of the year. What has this got to do with this post? everything, and perhaps nothing. It's just one of the patterns I see as I go along.

And so yes. looking back in 2010. What have i accomplished. Its funny, cause all the while during the year, I seem to be doing so much, living life and studying, making friends, yet now, it all seems wierdly empty.

And the mood has slipped away from me again.

Till next time then.

[shuffle]

I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air.
They fly so high,
nearly reach the sky.
Then like my dreams they fade and die...

[ || ]

playing with songs.

There's a light
A certain kind of light
That never shines on me..

[>>|]

...Nobody on the road
Nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
The summer’s out of reach...


[>>|]


I never had a 'Summer of 69'
Never had a Cherry Valance of my own
All these precious moments
You promised me would come in time
So where was I when I missed mine?


[>>|]

Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong

[>>|]

Leaving isn't quite the same
You said to me, as runnin' away.

[|<<][|<<]

... and time, won't let me go...

Feeling christmasty.

And once again, its christmas. And there are, for real, many things that i am really thankful for.

But nth more, than my family.

And my very best friends.

A clockwork orange.

Its wierd. That my souvenir from china comes in the form of books written in a language called english. Well. Not all of it. Some of it is in nadsat.

So yup.

"What's it going to be then, eh?"

21

So. another day.

Another long day spent with my closest friends, and now I'm back. Here. Writing down perhaps what i should have wrote yesterday but never took the time to.

You know how ideas seem to flit into your head, spin around it for a moment, perhaps make you ponder upon it for a few seconds, let you make a mental note about it, then totally vanish and disappear, together with the mental note and the knowledge of ever thinking about it? That's perhaps the reason why nothing came out when i sat down to type last night. and why little, if anything if coming through right now as well. But i shall persevere, or at least try to finish this post before i sleep tonight.

So let's begin, shall we?

Firstly. I'm now 21. And yeah. It took me just long enough to get here. And its been a good journey so far. Its kinda cool when you think about it, the amounts of choices made everyday, of options forfeited, chances taken that led all the way up to today. Perhaps in one of a million parallel universe I celebrated yesterday alone, and perhaps in another i'm missing one group of friend, or another group in another, or perhaps it would've been the other way around, celebrating at say a club, or at a poolside with millions turning up. But I don't know how those parallel equals of mine would feel, but i certainly do feel quite awesome right here.

Pardon my eccentricities, its the once in a year time where i get to spout rubbish without people stopping me. Not that that stops me from talking nonsense most of the time, but i do appreciate this freedom.

And so on we go.

I'm thankful for that great night. the night of the 10th. of the last month of the year of the 10th. The night where in a way, my whole life lined in front of me, almost my whole life anyway. I had friends from my primary, secondary then university all attending. I look into faces and i see memories peering back at me, stories sometimes so blurred out, that their details get confused with one another. But perhaps that's what our brains do, it blurs out the lines, unfocus the details, so that the memories turn awesome, even perhaps better than experiencing it.

And on a more personal note, turning 21 seems to still have caused or at least started changes in me that me myself am still unable to fathom. It seems such a landmark. But then again, my brain is pretty famed within my body for raising false alarms and thinking too much about things. But then again, my brain is probably the only thing that is thinking inside my body. God damn Anatomy, i can now never think with my feet or my heart again.

And it seems strange typing this, perhaps because i have ran out of ideas of things to write about, which i am quite sure is not the case. Its simply a case of me not being able to remember those things i thought about earlier in the day, or since yesterday.

But yeah, let me just end of this post with a few thank yous.

Firstly my parents, and grandparents, and ancestors beyond, for after 5000 or so years of chance, produced me. For that, i am more than grateful. To my sis as well, for being such a nice sister, for the day. haha.

A big thank you to all of you that turned up on friday, and thanks to everyone who wanted to come but couldn't make it. Thanks to those who wished me happy birthday in person, by phone, or over the internet, you have made saturday a really special day for me. And thank you, all of you, who have been a part or another of this 21 years of my life, thank you, you who i forgotten, you who i shared laughs with, you who are perhaps reading this right now, and you who perhaps never even knew this existed. Thank you, for being part of a great 21 year journey that brought me here to the starting point of adulthood, a gateway i've waited for so long now. And last but not least, I thank my brothers who stayed the night. And let there be no doubt, I'll follow you into the dark.

Till next time.

Morpheus awaits.

Save tonight

And we'll fight the break of dawn?

Its tonight. and i hope it'll be a good night.