day 1

Day 1. Favourite song.

And my paper is in a little over 8 hours time.True its just 5%. but i somehow wish there's one person here to wish me good luck.

You see, i've tried to picture the man, to always have an open hand, to see him as the giving tree..

Pre-exams stress is hitting me again. and as always, when such happens, i find myself doing the opposite of the only thing that could perhaps stop myself from having such stress.

Clothes maketh the man

My shoes just arrived. Which sent me into this crazy, irrational (in a good way) sort of thought cycle. You know how Mark Twain once said that 'clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.' I kinda agree, maybe not in the way he meant. but certainly, what you wear definitely have alot to do with who you are.

Take me, (Warning: Beginning of what some, or most, may consider as nonsense) for example. I would like to think that my love, or lust, for leather is not only due to the fact that it looks nice, or that i think i feel comfortable in them. When i put on my leather jacket, i would like to think of myself as wearing a material that has stood the stand of time. The single unifying thing of man through the ages, from the caveman who discovered fire, to the roman legion, to the mongolian riders, to the cowboys of the wild west, to the pilots of the world wars, to the rockstars on stage. It is this material that has kept mankind from freezing out, kept the warrior from being pierced by an arrow, for the first sails to billow in the wind and spread mankind across the planet. And I would like to carry on that. The spirit of freedom, of independence, of unwavering strength through hardships, of being part of a greater cause, to being a rebel without a cause. To being a dragon slaying mythical knight, to being the humble hunter of the forests. That is the meaning of wearing leather.

And my denim Jeans, Evolved rather recently, celebrating the ingenuity of mankind, and our ability to adapt. From their ancient use as rough shipwear to the first pair of riveted levi's, it showcases man's ability to adapt and use what we have to better ourselves. For without such invention, we would have never come this far. But more than that, denim celebrates a way of life, of the freedom of the pursuit of happiness, of that spirit found in the gold miners of old. To me it means that i suscribe to that, to the fact that with hard work, freedom, belief and a little bit of luck, i could make something out of myself. Sure i can pull on a hoodie and wear some track pants, and suscribe to the culture of today. But i would like to think of myself of something more, sort of fighting my little war against the waves of pop. And unless someone rips it off me, i'd hold on to my leather and denim.

But even i know that it isn't always possible to hold on to such ideals, which is why underneath my jacket, normally lies a t-shirt. with perhaps one of the icons of today, or yesterday, The Beatles, Oscar the Grouch, or just a slogan. The T-shirt, the product of capitalism and commercialisation, like a flag across my chest. Forcing me to submit to this cruel, 'meritocratic' world. To the pragmatism of today, and making me forget about the ideals i once held. And even though i may hide it under layers of clothing. Of jackets, scarves and pullovers. But deep itside i know, that as much as i hold on to my ideals, there may come a time where i would have to admit that they are but ideals. But till then. I'm holding on to my clothes.

I'm wierd. But I like being wierd in my own way. Its kinda fun actually.

Till next time then.

Until you think you have the time.

And then i go and spoil it all.

thank god its friday.

of elements

The ancients had it right. Man are born of elements. Have been thinking bout it recently. For how better to explain how, with such minute differences in our DNA that we have such great differences in personality.

By here some of you may now say 'what the hell', why and what is he talking about.

For years now i have been trying to classify myself under an element. And its exceptionally hard to classify oneself, for me at least.

Am i of earth? Sturdy and hard. Yet headstrong and proud.
Or of wind? fleeting and above all, who sees from outside the box that governs us all.
Of fire? passionate and fiery. Friend and Foe.
Or like water? smooth and flexible. weak, yet strong.

As Bruce Lee puts it. 'Be water, my friend'. And its what i want to be. But one could not fight with one's nature, can one?

Till next time

How i wish i was next door once again

And maybe get a second glance.

I kinda wanna be more than friends

It maybe the cardio I am learning right now.
And it may yet be the underlying 'things-i'd-vehemently-deny-to' issues of my heart.
Or yet a resurgence in form by west ham.
And yet be the line 'take a bite of my heart tonight' repeating in the background.

It seems common of me to start of a post like this and go on rambling and emoing about issues i have currently. But this is not one of those times. For once I am not as troubled as i usually am. I credit that to a full stomach and a little caffeine from my 'dragon well' tea.

It has been a good start to a second year here down under. I would not say that i miss home already. But neither would i say that i do not. For afterall, I'm a foreign man in a foreign land. But its been good. For reasons I must leave out for the same reasons, the details of my life in this land. But What is certain is that i am having a hell lot of fun.

My stance my change. perhaps in 5 minutes. Perhaps an hour. Perhaps a day. but yeah.

As of now. I think i'm staying for a winter.

500 miles.

"If you missed the train I'm on,
you will know that I am gone,
You can hear the wihistle blowing,
A hundred miles."

Perhaps Its because its my 2nd time. Perhaps however many times it may be. You will never get used to it.

I'm sitting here once again, typing a little, listening to songs a little, thinking alot. feeling what i could in what is one of my many last nights here.

"And if you take my hand my son,
All will be well when the day is done."

I only hope so man.

"Lord I'm one, Lord I'm two,
Lord I'm three, Lord I'm four,
Lord I'm five hundred miles away from home"

Come tomorrow, i will be 37 hundred miles away from home.