out for a breather.

ok.. i'm back for a little more than 8 hours.. after which i still have one 24 hour guard duty which kinda sux..

my mind is running at super fast speed now since i only have limited time out and of course these hours have to be dedicated solely to doing stuff to prepare for 2 wks in the wilderness.. ok.. one week.. but since i cant book out for 2 wks... its 2 wks in the wilderness..

and since i cant write about anything army related since its a chargable offence... i couldn't really write much.. how could you write something else when one thing is occupying your mind almost 24/7 where every morn you wake up to the same old routine and do another same old routine at night... Its a wonder they still need a Routine order, which is kinda oxymoronic since why do you need orders when its a routine already?

army sux btw. cant wait for my 2 yrs to end.

till nxt time

went out wif joko, zhou, reub and ran yesterday and chilled around..

nth much to write about. just the usual stuff. i'm losing some of my creativity here.

shall write when my creative juices flow again.

Tribute to Sir Edmund Hillary

Sir Edmund Hillary (1919-2008)
I know not much about him, cept for the fact that he was a New Zealander and the first ever man to climb Everest. but today, i guess, he is at ever rest. I respect him, for the humanitarian efforts he had made but most of all for being the first to scale the highest peak of the world. Being fearful of heights as i always am, i could not climb up more than say 7 stories( where my house is) and be not afraid when i look down, and to be able to scale such heights is thus a very respectable feat for me.

And thus i dedicate this post to him.. for a hero.. for one who could say he has been to the top of the world without feeling ashamed about it.

Punishment

It has not been a good week. this week. will be getting 2x guard duty cos i forgot to lock the cupboard.. and apparently its a 'serious' offence and a 'breach of security' and i am thus gonna get the guard duty. hopefully the other ppl who kena are fun ppl also so can have fun while doing stupid guard duty.

and cough is coming back.. this time worst...and the best of all.. this genius typing this forgot to bring home his medicine..

nth much else.. should go rest soon.. till nxt time.

alone.

Well. Alone at home. at such situations kinda make me emo since i have nothing in particular to do with no one in particular to talk to and all i have is myself with perhaps a few songs on the computer. Emo on nothing in particular. but well.. that's it.. me.

watched national treasure just now. the show was mediocre at best.. and the plot cliched. but sometimes.. its the company that you watches it with that matters. thks.

army again tomorrow..but at least i have a few more hours of freedom before that..

good night.

Call of guard duty.

keep pushing back this post.. cos of issues of utmost importance such as national security as well as games. The factual parts first. Booked out on thurs night. met s4 for lunch at surf n turf on fri after borrowing a few comics and books from the library, afterwhich wet TTSH for the TB checkup of which i have to go back for a follow up on monday. Then the trouble came. As i was preparing my horde for the battle. with my trolls impatient and goblins irritable, suddenly i recieved a call. which said something like "Agent 4407. There is a job that requires your expertise. Do you accept. Details will be given upon acceptance of the job." and being so absorbed in the game i said "ya". which is where heaven tumbled over me. and well.. i was called back for a 24 guard duty at a classified location. talk about a 'call of duty'..... lolz.

and thus here am i, just finished with that guard duty of mine. which was boring but kinda exciting at the same time. boring in the way that i walked in circles.. many times.. just the same route over and over again.. but exciting having heard the many stories and wanting to encounter an adventure myself.. having dreamt of slaying a wild boar with an SOG the night before the guard duty... i did heard the boar.. but me n my partner ( or my sidekick as i prefer to put it) went scared and ran away instead of towards the boar's grunt. And there is the view.. after the rain last night.. the sky was unobstructed and the stars were simply put.. mesmerizing.. which is now by far my most favourite word to describe something beautiful now.. like.. Wong is mesmerizing. lolz.

going out later again. luckily i dun have to book in tonight.. lolz.

nth much else. so till nxt time. ( actually there is, but i left my notebook in the bunk and dun rmb wad i wrote inside.)

lolz.

New year part 2

Since i had a little of time on my hands now decided to do another post before thursday or friday when i next bookout. Just went around singapore with my cousins in what is their first visit here. tiring as went trodden over Chinatown to Merlion etc. and still could not find the book i was looking for at bras basah just now.. but never mind that.

was just thinking bout the year that has been and the year that will be.. and how this year is gonna different from the past 2 yr. well. The past 2 yr sort of came as a package and well as i said many times before, it has been one hell of a ride. one i would not have thought possible if you asked me 2 yrs ago. and i think army will definitely not compare to that. but who knows?

and thus for the first time i shall write about army life.. a general entry with names changed again to protect not theirs but my identity for fear of punishment, 'charges' and everything inclusive.

Army have been sort of random at the beginning, having slack days and real tiring ones in no particular order at all.. but now after bout 3 wks? it has settled into a cycle. with upper limbs one day and lower limbs the other. both equally exhausting and by every means torturous, on both mind and body. still have not really got suited into army lifestyle.. the huge gap between those with power and those under it. the way the former is able to punish the latter for seemingly innocuous stuff and being able to scold at the latter and laugh with the others at the same time. and thus my conclusion.. the physical strains of the army could be overcome by an indomitable will but the mental pressure they set you.. the scolding and the way they make you fear bringing the whole team down.. is painful.. for me at least.. every short march is a gruelling experience, with me fearing of putting one step out of line or one hand out of sync. and from others, i know my marching aint anywhere near perfect.. especially sine i have this habit of walking with my toes hitting the ground first cos i feel its faster to pick up speed and much more lifting if i walk that way.. or just because it is just an old habit. just have to change.. and there is this thing called the route march.. which turned from enjoyable for the first, to gruelling in the second to unfeeling in the third (for me, 4th for the rest.) and there is the weapon.. i have always since young been facisnated by them... not that i am an extremely violent kinda person (sometimes i am, but those burst are rare) but i just liked them.. though i like swords and blades better.. and if i was born in ancient times i would have been a swordsmith. anyway. i cant help to think bout the gun.. have it killed before in its life which is longer than mine? Was it part of a war once? Viet War or Korea War perhaps? or even world war 2? has it been a hero's companion once? or was it nothing but cold metal, made to train soldiers like us who would not even use them in times of war? somehow the least appealing of the answers (ie the last) seems the most possible. and it has been more than a handicap than an assitance.. with us having to drag it all along and the many rules concerning it and the way we have to protect it 'with our lives'.. i mean its honorable for a knight to protect his sword with his life.. but a weapon decades old that have not been chosen by the soldier nor chose the soldier but a piece of metal forcefully forced into his hands as his so called 'wife'.. but nevertheless.. i am fine with the weapon.. so dun sue me or anything for not loving my weapon.. and i killed with it.. albeit it was only an ant crawling too near the butt of the gun while i was bored.

and talking bout weapons i was thinking one night in camp bout what if war broke out.. i definitely dun think i am ready for one.. for one thing i am not ready to fight.. my daydreams are filled with plans of glorious last stands and cool phrases in times like that.. one i thought of was 'give me a gun and magazine and i shall kill my enemies with it and when i run out of bullets i will use the bayonet and pierce through as many as i could and when my bayonet is blunted i shall use the butt of my weapon as a club and break as many more as i could and when the weapon is but one piece of junk i shall discard it and fight with my bare fists until my knuckles are broken and my body weary and then and there i shall plant myself into the ground and stare at my enemies and then i shall rest.' shall insert it into the story i am writing somewhere.. but the real me aint ready for war.. i mean.. its a scary prospect.. of killing.. dun think i will ever be capable of doing so.. its difficult to incapitate say a chicken.. let alone a man, capable of dreams and everything i could..

anyway.. this is one cool new year wish i found on neil gaiman's..

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't to forget make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

and yeah.. i wish everyone the same thing too..

time to get ready to book in..

New year

Another year come and gone and the world is once again a year older. what could i say, the past year i have already covered in my post on my birthday and well.. it has been quite a ride hadn't it. But the last month after my birthday have been amazing if not spectacular too. The pain of being enlisted just 48 hours after my birthday. The comfort in finding there are others like me. and the joy of making friends, new friends from my bunk mates roy. alvin. melvin. zhixuan. tianxiang. suhaile. dongchai. jeremy. hee yang. and jun wei. to matthew of attend B, Eugene of brokeback, the guy who call me green lantern and others.. army is a better place(not perfect though) place with them..

anyway. since my nxt yr is in army.. i dun really have many resolutions cept to perhaps make it into either sispec or OCS depending on my results and physical ability. but either will be good enough.

anyway. wishing all a happy new yr.

The tragedy of the dogs

Don't dogs live pitiful lives?
They guard masters who do not acknowledge them,
constantly shooing them away.
They serve with unwavering loyalty,
without ever a thought of revolt,
only for what?
scraps. food. a little pat on the head.
They settle at the feet of masters,
never harboring any hopes of rising to the top.
Yet they do so with pride and honour,
while allowing themselves to be trampled over by men
again without any murmur or bark.
And when men do not need them,
or at the slightest of complaints,
the dogs are murdured,
cruel, cold-bloodedly
and as inhumanely as humans could,
without an ounce of guilt.
and what remains of the rest of the pack.
they remain loyal.
soldiering on,
yet no complaints again.
Sadness feel their eyes,
you could see them searching for their murdered brothers,
ever on the lookout.
Yet if you look deeper,
you could see that they already know what happened
even before the murders.
But alas,
its in their contract to serve
and to protect-
With their lives.

not a poem. not a prose. just something i wrote for the sad dogs of the company in the army. brutally murdered just because of some complaints by some parents for fear of the dogs bite. I pity them. I admit, i wasnt fond of them when i first came. I saw them as strays, Vagabonds, freeloaders only here for the food. But as time past, i grew a soft spot for them. The way they bark at other dogs who attempt to 'invade' the company, the way they march alongside platoons, proud as a general yet humble as a soldier, and the way they seem to understand commands, when the command is given for the soldiers to sit, you could see them just behind the platoons, sitting down straight, looking at the other direction, guarding the backs of a thousand soldiers, and the way they settle down next to the status personnel during runs, asif saying 'do not worry, i want to run too, but i understand you guys and for that i will stay with you', and the way they do not take the indifference of the people to heart, still following us ever around, the way they stop at the gate at the road junction as if knowing it is their boundary to their home and stand guard there till we return from our meals, and the way they seem to tell us through silence to soldier on, telling us that they have been here for years and that we could do it. May we remember these dogs always and may the remaining few remain forever.

Army life is well. army life. I can't really put it in words. I could say its a prison with invisible bars, but that would be inaccurate and unfair to some of the superiors. I could say its just a storm every man have to past, but that would not be fair for the sunny days we had. To tell the truth, i guess i'm kinda fine in army. my platoon and especially my section(U4S4) have been great so far and its more than i hoped for. yeah. and seriously. army i guess needs to be experienced yourself. It just isn't the same hearing war stories and going to war yourself.

On a happier note. Merry Chirstmas to all. and a toast to all for the dogs.

till nxt time

goodbye.

have to go get ready soon. so have a quick post here.

i think a day of emoing have put me back onto my track and i shall now go and conquer my fears.. as batman and a million other comics put it.. the worst thing to fear is fear itself. so no fear. i shall chiong.

arms and ankle still aching.. but im sure i can cope..

so once again.. bye guys.. i shall be back for another post by christmas.. and hopefully by then i will have the time enough to write up some stories already.

till nxt time.