Maybe I don't really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone
Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
Maybe I don't really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone
Maybe I will never be
All the things that I want to be
But now is not the time to cry
Now's the time to find out why
I think you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
Live forever - Oasis
Awesome shit.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Saturday, 24 July 2010
one week in the winter cold
Well. there's something in the winter cold that i love.
Sure i miss my friends in singapore, chilling out and drinking, eating great food and going around and stuff. But that would certainly be unfair the the fun i had been having here at melbourne. The cold turn many away into their rooms and heaters, but somehow i enjoy that slight chill on my cheeks, that cold. That refreshingly awakening cold.
And its been a week. School has been well, stressful like school is supposed to be.but i am enjoying my return to freedom of my room, to sip cider from my armchair with my legs comfortably on my table. Now that is the life.
I know that i may change, and things may change. But typing this now from the comfort of this four walls that shouldn't even feel comfortable. I am satisfied.
There may come a time soon when i say screw this, i'm going back once my course ends. But the allure of melbourne is just so great for me.
The cold isn't depressing. Its calming.
Sure i miss my friends in singapore, chilling out and drinking, eating great food and going around and stuff. But that would certainly be unfair the the fun i had been having here at melbourne. The cold turn many away into their rooms and heaters, but somehow i enjoy that slight chill on my cheeks, that cold. That refreshingly awakening cold.
And its been a week. School has been well, stressful like school is supposed to be.but i am enjoying my return to freedom of my room, to sip cider from my armchair with my legs comfortably on my table. Now that is the life.
I know that i may change, and things may change. But typing this now from the comfort of this four walls that shouldn't even feel comfortable. I am satisfied.
There may come a time soon when i say screw this, i'm going back once my course ends. But the allure of melbourne is just so great for me.
The cold isn't depressing. Its calming.
Thursday, 24 June 2010
midpoint conclusion
And thus it ends, with a spin of the wheel and the taste of merlot. For 5% at least. and the first half of my first year overseas conclude. I'm immensely tired from the paper and its preparation and all the great fun i had today. But yeah. I thought i would write a few things before the night is done.
And its been a little more than 4 months here in melbourne, alright. fine. Clayton. And i am actually suprised at how well it went. Like true, there have been ups and downs and some episodes of epicness with some moments of homesickness. But yeah. Its been great.
I would have wrote more. but yeah. that would be wierd. In a way at least. And So i shall leave it here. sipping my Cabernet Merlot. But yeah.
Thank you. Nurul, Cheryl, Coral, Chelsea, Chris, Wei Ming, Sufandy, Joel, Jean, Chee Cheen, Kenneth. For making my melbourne days so far A-awesome. Gonna miss you guys when you are back in singapore man. haha. cheers!
And its been a little more than 4 months here in melbourne, alright. fine. Clayton. And i am actually suprised at how well it went. Like true, there have been ups and downs and some episodes of epicness with some moments of homesickness. But yeah. Its been great.
I would have wrote more. but yeah. that would be wierd. In a way at least. And So i shall leave it here. sipping my Cabernet Merlot. But yeah.
Thank you. Nurul, Cheryl, Coral, Chelsea, Chris, Wei Ming, Sufandy, Joel, Jean, Chee Cheen, Kenneth. For making my melbourne days so far A-awesome. Gonna miss you guys when you are back in singapore man. haha. cheers!
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
Here i sit amongst my pile of notes. read and unread. While acute stress raises my body histamine levels, making my skin itch. ("what? in which set of notes was that? Acute inflammation? Stress management?", Medicine kid #1059) Death, Dying and Palliative care sprawled out in front of me. Random coincidence? or forewarning of some sort?
My brain is not functioning. Well, it shouldn't be. I did not study about it. Skipped that part from that chapter on nerves.
Hell. 16 hours away.
20 till it freezes over.
My brain is not functioning. Well, it shouldn't be. I did not study about it. Skipped that part from that chapter on nerves.
Hell. 16 hours away.
20 till it freezes over.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Alive.
I am not dead.
not in the literal sense of the word anyway. Its been almost a month now since i last posted. And contradicting popular belief, i am still well alive and kicking. Though sometimes i'm not really sure about the well part. I'm flooded now my a torrent of microorganisms while trying to find my footing in the ever changing realm of pharmacology. Cancer shines high upon the skies, and good things never happen when that is the case.
Alright. enough nonsense. not in the trascription, translation manner.
Back to studying.
not in the literal sense of the word anyway. Its been almost a month now since i last posted. And contradicting popular belief, i am still well alive and kicking. Though sometimes i'm not really sure about the well part. I'm flooded now my a torrent of microorganisms while trying to find my footing in the ever changing realm of pharmacology. Cancer shines high upon the skies, and good things never happen when that is the case.
Alright. enough nonsense. not in the trascription, translation manner.
Back to studying.
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Hall Room musical :scene 1
What's so amazing,
That keeps us stargazin'?
And what do we think we might see?
Was just looking at the stars on my way home and was once again captivated like i always am. And the stars brought me to those old days where i tried to catch one of them and trap them in my hands. And yeah. That star wasn't there.
But,
Someday we'll find it,
The rainbow connection,
The lovers, The dreamers, and me.
Its still me, Strumming my guitar ever so tenderly, wrapping my hands around her slender neck. And then.
I looked at the world,
and i know it is turning.
Still my guitar, gently weeps.
Till next time, my friends.
That keeps us stargazin'?
And what do we think we might see?
Was just looking at the stars on my way home and was once again captivated like i always am. And the stars brought me to those old days where i tried to catch one of them and trap them in my hands. And yeah. That star wasn't there.
But,
Someday we'll find it,
The rainbow connection,
The lovers, The dreamers, and me.
Its still me, Strumming my guitar ever so tenderly, wrapping my hands around her slender neck. And then.
I looked at the world,
and i know it is turning.
Still my guitar, gently weeps.
Till next time, my friends.
Monday, 24 May 2010
Sunday, 16 May 2010
About missing home.
I thought i wouldn't. But here i am. Thinking bout the green green grass of home, strumming my ukulele and blowing my harmonica. You know like how the greatest of dams could be fell by the smallest of holes. The waves of emo could be triggered by the smallest means, by the smallest familiar scent of home, which did not came from home at all. Or by the striking of a mis-played chord, the same one I played lying on my queen sized bed, staring at my unevenly painted green walls. Or the wind hitting me at a specific angle and speed, fooling my nerves into believing i was on my couch once more, reading a book or listening to a song. And sometimes, it need no trigger at all. Just suddenly from the back of your brain, Mr Wong-Inside says Hi.
And then you think about home. About whether your walls are still green. If the carpet you wanted for your room is already in your room. Whether dust has been collecting on your books, or your bed. Or did your parents white sheet everything, as though you no longer belonged to this world. And did they lock the door, maybe to spare themselves the thought of you being overseas, and if they did, would it be forever? And if they didn't, is it now a guest room, open for all walks of life to rest in, to flip through your carefully sorted by author and alphebet books, or your closet, and all the bones you hide in it. And will they sweep under the bed and the table, to find pieces of you left behind, pieces you don't even notice you've left behind.
And then you think more about home and the people. What did they cook yesterday? Is it vegetarian? What happened to the colour lights of the living room, or the computer to which you hold the master password. And the kitchen, and that all so familiar sight of mum, and that all so wonderful scent of vegetables frying in a pan, or soup in a pot, or cake in the stove. And then you think about the food you're having here, and suddenly everything seems too salty, or too oily, or too bland, or too tasteful, or tasteless, or sweet, or sour. And Someone cooked you what you want, and you still feel something's missing though you can't tell what. And then the piano, do your sister still play it, that loud annoying song that rings through the whole house. And is that player on the altar still working, do it still play? And do we still have sports on TV when i return? If i return.
And you think outside your home. Is that tree still there, or that empty field, have they started building something there. And your friends, do they still hang out at the same places, is the macs still 24/7. Do they still get the front 4 rows seats in the cinema, and who gets the spoilt com during LAN now? or do they LAN at all.
And then you think. and you think. and you think.
And you say damn.
I'm not supposed to be missing home at all.
And you shrug.
And say 'Oh wells'
And life goes on.
Till nxt time.
And then you think about home. About whether your walls are still green. If the carpet you wanted for your room is already in your room. Whether dust has been collecting on your books, or your bed. Or did your parents white sheet everything, as though you no longer belonged to this world. And did they lock the door, maybe to spare themselves the thought of you being overseas, and if they did, would it be forever? And if they didn't, is it now a guest room, open for all walks of life to rest in, to flip through your carefully sorted by author and alphebet books, or your closet, and all the bones you hide in it. And will they sweep under the bed and the table, to find pieces of you left behind, pieces you don't even notice you've left behind.
And then you think more about home and the people. What did they cook yesterday? Is it vegetarian? What happened to the colour lights of the living room, or the computer to which you hold the master password. And the kitchen, and that all so familiar sight of mum, and that all so wonderful scent of vegetables frying in a pan, or soup in a pot, or cake in the stove. And then you think about the food you're having here, and suddenly everything seems too salty, or too oily, or too bland, or too tasteful, or tasteless, or sweet, or sour. And Someone cooked you what you want, and you still feel something's missing though you can't tell what. And then the piano, do your sister still play it, that loud annoying song that rings through the whole house. And is that player on the altar still working, do it still play? And do we still have sports on TV when i return? If i return.
And you think outside your home. Is that tree still there, or that empty field, have they started building something there. And your friends, do they still hang out at the same places, is the macs still 24/7. Do they still get the front 4 rows seats in the cinema, and who gets the spoilt com during LAN now? or do they LAN at all.
And then you think. and you think. and you think.
And you say damn.
I'm not supposed to be missing home at all.
And you shrug.
And say 'Oh wells'
And life goes on.
Till nxt time.
Monday, 10 May 2010
Hello. Its been long once again.
It is customary for me to ask a question like 'have you ever felt this' or 'have you ever felt that'. But I am not going to this time. For I believe everyone has. And should have, felt as though he is standing against crashing waves, which seeks not to break you, not to destroy you by its brute force, but to drown you in its swirling currents and overlapping tides. Suddenly when the waves of studies and social life and the future comes crashing down on you, you feel not that you are not strong enough to stand up to them all, just not tall enough to stand above them all.
No wonder medicine students have the highest suicide rates.
It is customary for me to ask a question like 'have you ever felt this' or 'have you ever felt that'. But I am not going to this time. For I believe everyone has. And should have, felt as though he is standing against crashing waves, which seeks not to break you, not to destroy you by its brute force, but to drown you in its swirling currents and overlapping tides. Suddenly when the waves of studies and social life and the future comes crashing down on you, you feel not that you are not strong enough to stand up to them all, just not tall enough to stand above them all.
No wonder medicine students have the highest suicide rates.
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