Don't dogs live pitiful lives?
They guard masters who do not acknowledge them,
constantly shooing them away.
They serve with unwavering loyalty,
without ever a thought of revolt,
only for what?
scraps. food. a little pat on the head.
They settle at the feet of masters,
never harboring any hopes of rising to the top.
Yet they do so with pride and honour,
while allowing themselves to be trampled over by men
again without any murmur or bark.
And when men do not need them,
or at the slightest of complaints,
the dogs are murdured,
cruel, cold-bloodedly
and as inhumanely as humans could,
without an ounce of guilt.
and what remains of the rest of the pack.
they remain loyal.
soldiering on,
yet no complaints again.
Sadness feel their eyes,
you could see them searching for their murdered brothers,
ever on the lookout.
Yet if you look deeper,
you could see that they already know what happened
even before the murders.
But alas,
its in their contract to serve
and to protect-
With their lives.
not a poem. not a prose. just something i wrote for the sad dogs of the company in the army. brutally murdered just because of some complaints by some parents for fear of the dogs bite. I pity them. I admit, i wasnt fond of them when i first came. I saw them as strays, Vagabonds, freeloaders only here for the food. But as time past, i grew a soft spot for them. The way they bark at other dogs who attempt to 'invade' the company, the way they march alongside platoons, proud as a general yet humble as a soldier, and the way they seem to understand commands, when the command is given for the soldiers to sit, you could see them just behind the platoons, sitting down straight, looking at the other direction, guarding the backs of a thousand soldiers, and the way they settle down next to the status personnel during runs, asif saying 'do not worry, i want to run too, but i understand you guys and for that i will stay with you', and the way they do not take the indifference of the people to heart, still following us ever around, the way they stop at the gate at the road junction as if knowing it is their boundary to their home and stand guard there till we return from our meals, and the way they seem to tell us through silence to soldier on, telling us that they have been here for years and that we could do it. May we remember these dogs always and may the remaining few remain forever.
Army life is well. army life. I can't really put it in words. I could say its a prison with invisible bars, but that would be inaccurate and unfair to some of the superiors. I could say its just a storm every man have to past, but that would not be fair for the sunny days we had. To tell the truth, i guess i'm kinda fine in army. my platoon and especially my section(U4S4) have been great so far and its more than i hoped for. yeah. and seriously. army i guess needs to be experienced yourself. It just isn't the same hearing war stories and going to war yourself.
On a happier note. Merry Chirstmas to all. and a toast to all for the dogs.
till nxt time
Monday 24 December 2007
Thursday 20 December 2007
goodbye.
have to go get ready soon. so have a quick post here.
i think a day of emoing have put me back onto my track and i shall now go and conquer my fears.. as batman and a million other comics put it.. the worst thing to fear is fear itself. so no fear. i shall chiong.
arms and ankle still aching.. but im sure i can cope..
so once again.. bye guys.. i shall be back for another post by christmas.. and hopefully by then i will have the time enough to write up some stories already.
till nxt time.
i think a day of emoing have put me back onto my track and i shall now go and conquer my fears.. as batman and a million other comics put it.. the worst thing to fear is fear itself. so no fear. i shall chiong.
arms and ankle still aching.. but im sure i can cope..
so once again.. bye guys.. i shall be back for another post by christmas.. and hopefully by then i will have the time enough to write up some stories already.
till nxt time.
Wednesday 19 December 2007
Home. Sweet. Home
Actually i wrote alot before coming back in one of my notebooks. plenty. lines after lines of my life at tekong. but i shall not write it down here. cos today as i return from the island.. new thoughts flooded into me.
All was fine till the RO tonight. before that, my thoughts were all on food and entertainment as i return. Joy laughter and Freedom for 24 hours. but today. after i came off the ferry i started to see what i am truly missing and the true meaning of home sweet home. Honestly now i can say, there is nothing better than home. not in the macro sense about country and even neighbourhood. but your one and only home. the house whose door will always be open to you. No book out time. no nothing. one which you will willingly volunteer guard duty for and if needed lay down your life for anytime. As i past down the road on the bus just now in my no.4. I was so emo-ed by the sight of Loyang Ave and Pasir Ris drive 1 that i almost cried. all the landmarks that i past so many times without more than a second glance, all the trees, grass and HDB flats that i just ignored everytime i walked past. The fields i ran carefree as i chased the soccer ball. The lift that never came when i wanted to use the toilet. Even the roads that i may not have walked but once or twice. Never really thought about home this much till i reach here.
And then as i entered my house. how i welcomed the sound of the 24 hours ringing buddhist chant of the altar. and the soft touch of the carpet and the yellow lights of home dimmed to a homely ambience impossible to reproduce elsewhere. the 10 yr old sofa i always complained about suddenly seemed so welcoming. And my room, not even close to the neatness of the bunk but ever so comfortable. the chair, all its wooden skeleton all but broken but now so inviting. The computer, so cold and quiet, now exuberant with my old life showing me that i still exists in it and one day if i need to, i just have to download it back into myself.
enough of typing.. have to go enjoy my home till tomorrow comes.
Last time i didn't understand what ppl meant when they say home is where the heart is or a thousand other metaphors.. but now i do.
Good night guys. and for those who could always be at home. cherish it.
till nxt time
All was fine till the RO tonight. before that, my thoughts were all on food and entertainment as i return. Joy laughter and Freedom for 24 hours. but today. after i came off the ferry i started to see what i am truly missing and the true meaning of home sweet home. Honestly now i can say, there is nothing better than home. not in the macro sense about country and even neighbourhood. but your one and only home. the house whose door will always be open to you. No book out time. no nothing. one which you will willingly volunteer guard duty for and if needed lay down your life for anytime. As i past down the road on the bus just now in my no.4. I was so emo-ed by the sight of Loyang Ave and Pasir Ris drive 1 that i almost cried. all the landmarks that i past so many times without more than a second glance, all the trees, grass and HDB flats that i just ignored everytime i walked past. The fields i ran carefree as i chased the soccer ball. The lift that never came when i wanted to use the toilet. Even the roads that i may not have walked but once or twice. Never really thought about home this much till i reach here.
And then as i entered my house. how i welcomed the sound of the 24 hours ringing buddhist chant of the altar. and the soft touch of the carpet and the yellow lights of home dimmed to a homely ambience impossible to reproduce elsewhere. the 10 yr old sofa i always complained about suddenly seemed so welcoming. And my room, not even close to the neatness of the bunk but ever so comfortable. the chair, all its wooden skeleton all but broken but now so inviting. The computer, so cold and quiet, now exuberant with my old life showing me that i still exists in it and one day if i need to, i just have to download it back into myself.
enough of typing.. have to go enjoy my home till tomorrow comes.
Last time i didn't understand what ppl meant when they say home is where the heart is or a thousand other metaphors.. but now i do.
Good night guys. and for those who could always be at home. cherish it.
till nxt time
Wednesday 12 December 2007
Today | Tomorrow
Today. I had my last dinner with my family at Sizzler, suntec.
Today. I did my final preparations for army. buying stuff that need to be bought.
Today. I killed my last goblin and concluded my final game of BFME.
Today. I finished my last day of my civilian life.
Tomorrow. I will no longer have food as i please. No longer will i have a choice of how well done i want my steak to be. In fact, i may not get any steak at all.
Tomorrow. I will sleep in a brand new bed. One I will not feel at nest in.
Tomorrow. My life will change totally. No longer can i do as i please.
Tomorrow. I will answer my call of duty again. only this time its not in a 3.5" LCD screen.
Tomorrow. I will bade goodbye to Morpheus, my psp.
Tomorrow. I will not be able to post.
Tomorrow. I will for one last time check soccernet for football updates. For i would not be able to do so for two weeks.
Tomorrow. I will click here one more time. to look at my computer one last time.
Tomorrow. 1pm. white sands. ain't it ironic? My gateway to the outside world for close to 10 years now will become the entrance to my prison.
till nxt time. which is 2 wks later or more. goodnight mates. and goodbye.
Today. I did my final preparations for army. buying stuff that need to be bought.
Today. I killed my last goblin and concluded my final game of BFME.
Today. I finished my last day of my civilian life.
Tomorrow. I will no longer have food as i please. No longer will i have a choice of how well done i want my steak to be. In fact, i may not get any steak at all.
Tomorrow. I will sleep in a brand new bed. One I will not feel at nest in.
Tomorrow. My life will change totally. No longer can i do as i please.
Tomorrow. I will answer my call of duty again. only this time its not in a 3.5" LCD screen.
Tomorrow. I will bade goodbye to Morpheus, my psp.
Tomorrow. I will not be able to post.
Tomorrow. I will for one last time check soccernet for football updates. For i would not be able to do so for two weeks.
Tomorrow. I will click here one more time. to look at my computer one last time.
Tomorrow. 1pm. white sands. ain't it ironic? My gateway to the outside world for close to 10 years now will become the entrance to my prison.
till nxt time. which is 2 wks later or more. goodnight mates. and goodbye.
Ode to the eternal brothers
Its now 15 mins after my birthday. and really enjoyed today and yesterday night with zhou, reub, ran and joko. After playing much of last night and today morn. and watching Hitman in the evening (which by the way was a very nice show), the night was one ... Emo?.. one. haha. joked around alot.. but everyone felt the sadness of the upcoming enlistment. After 6 yrs of meeting almost every week or so and talking to each other as frequently or sometimes perhaps more, there was sadness, not being able to go watch movies, talk rubbish, kick ball, sing song, watch more movies..... as frequently. And yeah, as we talked under the stars at the hemispheric ampitheatre, our conversation drifted once again to the memories we shared. The seasons of sun we had if i may put it that way.
An Ode to the eternal brothers.
We met as strangers, unfamiliar,
but then came choir, our unifier,
Zhou, Ran, Hoe and Reub the joker
Noch, Cole, Lai and Jon our junior.
From the our initial 'buay song',
to our very last song.
never once did we fight for long.
It all started with a simple phrase
'Guys are you here for choir today?'
As we were all still in a daze
we were drawn in without a say.
Now i look back with amaze
there must be some miracle that day.
Many objections at first hoe raised
but after that he slowly obeyed.
after that came many stories
if which told will take centuries
and thus brothers eternal we will be.
From ran the man,
who 'leapt from a van'
once the ruler of the choir lands.
And as a striker score he can,
also too friends he will defend.
Then theres zhou
who always seem to score a goal.
though some time he may 'appear a foe'
he will always be a good friend so.
Also there's the joker reub
who always seem to hold the group.
always late for meetings he would
Score goals when no one thought he could
but never does so when he should
and joko joko with magic cards
made to wait today like a retard
and so my apologies i send with my regards.
And not forgetting Sir Manhope
nothing ever he cant cope.
To others he may be a joke
but to us he still got hope.
And the ever-singing Enoch Long,
who until now still singing song.
To the brothers he will belong
Until time strikes the final gong.
And jon and Colin,
both never stop joking.
and go on dudes. you'll never stop rocking.
An Ode to the eternal brothers.
We met as strangers, unfamiliar,
but then came choir, our unifier,
Zhou, Ran, Hoe and Reub the joker
Noch, Cole, Lai and Jon our junior.
From the our initial 'buay song',
to our very last song.
never once did we fight for long.
It all started with a simple phrase
'Guys are you here for choir today?'
As we were all still in a daze
we were drawn in without a say.
Now i look back with amaze
there must be some miracle that day.
Many objections at first hoe raised
but after that he slowly obeyed.
after that came many stories
if which told will take centuries
and thus brothers eternal we will be.
From ran the man,
who 'leapt from a van'
once the ruler of the choir lands.
And as a striker score he can,
also too friends he will defend.
Then theres zhou
who always seem to score a goal.
though some time he may 'appear a foe'
he will always be a good friend so.
Also there's the joker reub
who always seem to hold the group.
always late for meetings he would
Score goals when no one thought he could
but never does so when he should
and joko joko with magic cards
made to wait today like a retard
and so my apologies i send with my regards.
And not forgetting Sir Manhope
nothing ever he cant cope.
To others he may be a joke
but to us he still got hope.
And the ever-singing Enoch Long,
who until now still singing song.
To the brothers he will belong
Until time strikes the final gong.
And jon and Colin,
both never stop joking.
and go on dudes. you'll never stop rocking.
Monday 10 December 2007
18.
Less than 10 hours to go to my 18th birthday now. Which is i would say another milestone for me. If i was a brazillian, this age enables me to sign for a foreign club.
If i lived in ancient China, this age would see me marrying a girl already.. or several girls.. depending on my family's wealth.
If i stayed in NZ i would be doing my university studies now.
18. and then 48 hours after that. army. This year was unlike the last. if the year of 17 was a year of discovery, this is a year of disillusionment and reflection. Firstly, this year see me went through the a period where dreams i thought were merely dreams and a period where i started believing again.. like a child who ceased to believe in narnia and barred entry to it.. i regained my ticket to narnia. Then i found out how true friends were made. How some stand by you in times of trouble and some appear out of nowhere and some change from foe to friend and well. vice versa. How some tell me that the way to sucess is to work hard with both feet on the ground and how i start to think that if you put both feet on the ground you will never fall, but neither will you ever fly. How my idea of army changed from downright oppresion to necessary slavery to heck-care-just-whack.
anyway.. haha. its one year came and one year gone..
so. happy birthday wong.
its 6.5 hours left.
If i lived in ancient China, this age would see me marrying a girl already.. or several girls.. depending on my family's wealth.
If i stayed in NZ i would be doing my university studies now.
18. and then 48 hours after that. army. This year was unlike the last. if the year of 17 was a year of discovery, this is a year of disillusionment and reflection. Firstly, this year see me went through the a period where dreams i thought were merely dreams and a period where i started believing again.. like a child who ceased to believe in narnia and barred entry to it.. i regained my ticket to narnia. Then i found out how true friends were made. How some stand by you in times of trouble and some appear out of nowhere and some change from foe to friend and well. vice versa. How some tell me that the way to sucess is to work hard with both feet on the ground and how i start to think that if you put both feet on the ground you will never fall, but neither will you ever fly. How my idea of army changed from downright oppresion to necessary slavery to heck-care-just-whack.
anyway.. haha. its one year came and one year gone..
so. happy birthday wong.
its 6.5 hours left.
Tuesday 4 December 2007
Give up what was never mine
To leave the lands never treaded.
To give up what was never mine.
Never thought it will be as painful like this.
But it is what that had to be done.
A conclusion to what had been amazing yet torturous for the past 6 months.
thank you.
but sorry and goodbye.
this is the only way i could think of.
couldn't sleep whole of last night.
But its ok. It shows me my choice is essential.
半年过了
不再等待
不再期盼
不在妄想
To give up what was never mine.
Never thought it will be as painful like this.
But it is what that had to be done.
A conclusion to what had been amazing yet torturous for the past 6 months.
thank you.
but sorry and goodbye.
this is the only way i could think of.
couldn't sleep whole of last night.
But its ok. It shows me my choice is essential.
半年过了
不再等待
不再期盼
不在妄想
Sunday 2 December 2007
tired
Just reached home after a whole night with zhou n reub at zhou's in which we watched the west ham, newcastle and arsenal matches to varying length.. haha. and sadly for me.. the hammers lost.. but we did play well.. and the goalscorer? well.. he is a hammer himself. lolz.
and we talked rubbish again at round 3am.. at the playground opposite the graveyard.. sharing how time seems to fly and that in 10 days.. all we know will change.. yeah. and the cup noodle was nice. haha. yeah. And if you put both feet firmly on the ground, you will never fly.. yeah.
seems only yesterday we still swimming before the prelims sia.. den with click of the fingers.. time just flew past..
and we talked rubbish again at round 3am.. at the playground opposite the graveyard.. sharing how time seems to fly and that in 10 days.. all we know will change.. yeah. and the cup noodle was nice. haha. yeah. And if you put both feet firmly on the ground, you will never fly.. yeah.
seems only yesterday we still swimming before the prelims sia.. den with click of the fingers.. time just flew past..
Saturday 1 December 2007
China
Well. I'm back after 8 days in china.. tired but satisfied... not gonna bore anyone including myself with details of the trip but what i would write are kinda like thoughts i thought of on the trip.. more of dreams and daydreams.. things i do when i have plenty of time.. with nothing to do...
Firstly on planes.. i think there is a conspiracy on the planes.. they give u toilets so small you get claustrophobic and then they serve u shit food so you have to get into the toilet to hear the sounds of air zooming pass the plane and get so shaken you cannot walk straight. haha. not that terrible.. but close. but one good thing on planes.. at least they give you good movies to watch..
On emperors.. things dun get any better than being an emperor in ancient china.. just going to their numerous gigantically magnificent palaces makes me jealous and in awe. Imagine it.. You have a house so big if you stay in a different room since you were born every night.. you would take 27 years to finish living in it.. you have all the trappings of wealth and greatness with plenty of places to show it from the grandest of statues and carvings to the most minute details of the tiles on the floor and there is more.. you have gates, exclusive and titanic, with spectacular arches and and opening so big an army could pass through it... but no.. no one could pass through it 'cept you.. how wonderful is that.. and there is the fame and everything that comes with being an emperor.. everyone bows to you regardless of age and occupation.. and your word is law.. how bad can a life as an emperor get.
And then there is the good marketing strategy of the Chinese.. they are goddamn smart i tell you.. First they let the tour guide give you a talk on the things that you should buy.. and as a 'neutral' person.. we are more inclined to believe them than shopkeepers.. so they talk so much that your heart moves.. then when you reach the shops.. they show you around and ask for some big shot in the company to give some talk on their items... and sometimes they insert words on your health or stuff and wow.. they are persuasive.. even i get persuaded. haha. that's not a good gauge, ok. even my father gets persuaded.. and if anyone have been tracking the millions of times i have quarrelled with him.. you will noe that that takes skill.
Then there's this day we went to the zoo.. and 'cept for the pandas i have seen all the animals before.. but my thoughts were more on the thoughts of the animal than the animals itself. I saw this lion. solitary. in a compound so barren and cold that it does not in anyway imitates the savannahs from which he origin. and there he sat. sad and gloomy.. and i heard this boy ask.. why is the lion not moving. then i thought.. perhaps it was a quote i read from some books which i noe not.. but yeah. ok. putting it in my story's words.
'why are you not moving, o' king of beasts?'
"look all around you' the lion said ' have you been to a buffet where you are forced to watch and smell and not eat? I see and smell meat in all forms at close range everyday in my life. And never did they throw one down for me to consume. and the most pathetic thing is showing me all these spectacular food and then feeding me with goddamn chickens! Lions don't eat chickens! We eat buffalos! antelopes! elephants! hippopotami! Other Lions! Man! but not chickens! chickens are for dogs and lesser hunters man. I am the king of beasts, and you feed me CHICKENS!!!"
Thats for the lion and then there was the wolves running around in circles around their pathetically small compound and once again i thought on why did they do so and again i will put in in my storyline..lol.
"why are you prancing in circles, wolves of grey fur?"
"don't ask me" the wolves said " we are just following the leader up ahead over there. yep. there he is the guy in the shiny black coat."
"Why do you lead them in circles then, leader wolf?"
"I see prey infront.. a wolfish grey kind of hound which we are hunting down.. but he seem to be always running in circles.. stopping when we stop.. running when we run. and he i well hunt and follow till the end... for wolves never give up.. its our inner nature." The black wolf says, before adding softly to our hero "and running in circles makes them forget that we are trapped in a small compound and i as their leader have to keep their morale up so one day when we are strong enough.. we could break out."
Enough of zoos. In china also went the great wall.which to me was scary cos i am kinda acrophobic and i could not get myself pass the 2nd tower. i had the strength to move but my legs refused to move and i do not trust myself to push it too far.. I fear that if i pushed my legs to far.. they will mutiny and run me off the cliff into a cold scary death below the walls.. guess its part of being not down to earth.. when you fly, you fear you fall but if you are down to earth, you will never fly.
One more thing.. EPL results should be posted everywhere... i had nightmares there about West ham VS tottenham and not knowing the results sux.
that's that for the trip. have to feed my gnawing hunger for FM. haha.
till nxt time.
Firstly on planes.. i think there is a conspiracy on the planes.. they give u toilets so small you get claustrophobic and then they serve u shit food so you have to get into the toilet to hear the sounds of air zooming pass the plane and get so shaken you cannot walk straight. haha. not that terrible.. but close. but one good thing on planes.. at least they give you good movies to watch..
On emperors.. things dun get any better than being an emperor in ancient china.. just going to their numerous gigantically magnificent palaces makes me jealous and in awe. Imagine it.. You have a house so big if you stay in a different room since you were born every night.. you would take 27 years to finish living in it.. you have all the trappings of wealth and greatness with plenty of places to show it from the grandest of statues and carvings to the most minute details of the tiles on the floor and there is more.. you have gates, exclusive and titanic, with spectacular arches and and opening so big an army could pass through it... but no.. no one could pass through it 'cept you.. how wonderful is that.. and there is the fame and everything that comes with being an emperor.. everyone bows to you regardless of age and occupation.. and your word is law.. how bad can a life as an emperor get.
And then there is the good marketing strategy of the Chinese.. they are goddamn smart i tell you.. First they let the tour guide give you a talk on the things that you should buy.. and as a 'neutral' person.. we are more inclined to believe them than shopkeepers.. so they talk so much that your heart moves.. then when you reach the shops.. they show you around and ask for some big shot in the company to give some talk on their items... and sometimes they insert words on your health or stuff and wow.. they are persuasive.. even i get persuaded. haha. that's not a good gauge, ok. even my father gets persuaded.. and if anyone have been tracking the millions of times i have quarrelled with him.. you will noe that that takes skill.
Then there's this day we went to the zoo.. and 'cept for the pandas i have seen all the animals before.. but my thoughts were more on the thoughts of the animal than the animals itself. I saw this lion. solitary. in a compound so barren and cold that it does not in anyway imitates the savannahs from which he origin. and there he sat. sad and gloomy.. and i heard this boy ask.. why is the lion not moving. then i thought.. perhaps it was a quote i read from some books which i noe not.. but yeah. ok. putting it in my story's words.
'why are you not moving, o' king of beasts?'
"look all around you' the lion said ' have you been to a buffet where you are forced to watch and smell and not eat? I see and smell meat in all forms at close range everyday in my life. And never did they throw one down for me to consume. and the most pathetic thing is showing me all these spectacular food and then feeding me with goddamn chickens! Lions don't eat chickens! We eat buffalos! antelopes! elephants! hippopotami! Other Lions! Man! but not chickens! chickens are for dogs and lesser hunters man. I am the king of beasts, and you feed me CHICKENS!!!"
Thats for the lion and then there was the wolves running around in circles around their pathetically small compound and once again i thought on why did they do so and again i will put in in my storyline..lol.
"why are you prancing in circles, wolves of grey fur?"
"don't ask me" the wolves said " we are just following the leader up ahead over there. yep. there he is the guy in the shiny black coat."
"Why do you lead them in circles then, leader wolf?"
"I see prey infront.. a wolfish grey kind of hound which we are hunting down.. but he seem to be always running in circles.. stopping when we stop.. running when we run. and he i well hunt and follow till the end... for wolves never give up.. its our inner nature." The black wolf says, before adding softly to our hero "and running in circles makes them forget that we are trapped in a small compound and i as their leader have to keep their morale up so one day when we are strong enough.. we could break out."
Enough of zoos. In china also went the great wall.which to me was scary cos i am kinda acrophobic and i could not get myself pass the 2nd tower. i had the strength to move but my legs refused to move and i do not trust myself to push it too far.. I fear that if i pushed my legs to far.. they will mutiny and run me off the cliff into a cold scary death below the walls.. guess its part of being not down to earth.. when you fly, you fear you fall but if you are down to earth, you will never fly.
One more thing.. EPL results should be posted everywhere... i had nightmares there about West ham VS tottenham and not knowing the results sux.
that's that for the trip. have to feed my gnawing hunger for FM. haha.
till nxt time.
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