In the beginning. It was simple. United we stand, divided we fall was the rule of the book. And so someone said, stop the divisive speech, stop those hateful ideas. And people rallied around him, increasing in numbers as days past. And they asked,' how are we to ensure that we stay united, who will do the policing?' And so it began. The establishment of police started.
Alright. I couldn't start it from the start. So i'll try to trace back from the end. The end was 1984, the days of big brother. The days of TV screens that looked at you as much as you looked at them. They didn't have that before. Before that all they had was civilian policing, not dis-similar to the ancient 'have you seen this man' posters one might find in the wild west, pictures was posted on the net, on TVs, newspapers, on any form of media imaginable. And the system said, 'Help the society and your loved ones, report any crime now.' And Any meant any. Including your mum queuing in the expresslane with 1 more than 10 items. Including your baby sister innocently tresspassing on the grass of a neighbour. Including having a gay friend. Eyes turned into cameras and ears into listening posts. Technology was obsolete. Who needs a camera when you have eyes on your side, a thousand megapixels better than cameras. And the system then decided that what if you yourself was committing a crime, perhaps having a sexual thought about the 10 girls on tv simultaneously, surely that is 'intent' for 'deviant sexual habits'. And thus the screens were installed.
And before civilian policing there too was cameras. In 'public' places as it was called then, to defer would be criminals and help capture escaping convicts. The system said it worked and they wanted to step up a notch, for 'there can never be too little crime'. And then before that there was censorship, the banning of things the system feel inappropriate and dangerous towards the moral fibers of society. The majority agreed. Most believed that sun revolved around the earth. Most thought that men were made out of clay, while most also believed that men were the result of a single couple. Most also thought that the system was perfect. Thus books that 'most' do not agree to are burned, those who are not the 'most' are burned at the stake, not before making sure they know why are they wrong. And before most, there was the beginning.
-Inspired by 1984 and a little reading here and there. The above writings are purely fictional and is not a reference to any phenomenon or person dead or alive. Please, i am part of the majority.
And a single unrelated link.
Com'on. its on wiki.
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Monday, 26 October 2009
Day 1
Checked out several shops and ended up buying something that is totally unrelated. Experience meant that i looked it up online in case same thing happens again.
Moving of furniture starts tomorrow.
Moving of furniture starts tomorrow.
Friday, 23 October 2009
of numbers
hello. yes. i'm back from land of non-alcoholic beer and pubs selling blueberry syrup also known as Brunei Darrusallam. Unlike previous trips, i do not have any pictures this time, forgot the camera amongst the million stuff i brought there. But Brunei was ok. not awesome. slightly worst than expected. especially the ppl there. but yeah. who cares? I'm done with going overseas and into forests with the organisation. almost done anyway.
And its 49 days. to what i would have once called freedom and what my parents call unemployment in this great snakes and ladders game of life. And as i approach it, and as life gets better, the feeling gets wierder. Like, i am not so sure i can call it freedom anymore cos it isn't. I mean, there's still lots after the organisation, responsibilities, authority things like that. And perhaps i never will be totally free. But yeah. the end of these 49 days is still a day i look forward to day and night and every half a minute in between them.
and talking bout number of days and milestones and such. Just watched 500days of summer with Reubs, Joko and Jon. While i wouldn't deny that its a great show. unorthodox, but nonetheless a good movie. I found it too close to heart to be comfortable with. and so too do Jon. You know months back i wrote something bout the so called myth of uniquity, bout how our lives cease to be unique at some point, bout how sometimes you see a movie or hear a song that you say 'damn, that's my story' and that suddenly you see all around you that everyone's having the same feeling? This is one of those movie. especially to me and perhaps Jon. You know how sometimes this kinda stuff evoke memories, and perhaps feelings long gone? feelings of frustration and anger, of denial and angst. And when you hope the protagonist does the thing you always wanted to do, perhaps at that moment where the lives collide, that guy in the movie just does what you actually did, like walk away and say, 'Hey, all the best, i wish you well' or something like that instead of pushing her off the cliff or taking out a pistol and say 'hasta la vista, baby' or something. Or perhaps slapping the girl or something when told of the news instead of going to a bed to languish for days.
That's why i like south park. That's why i like traditional alpha-male action movies like the old james bonds and taken and stuff like that. That guy in there is just so unlike us. We know we can never be him, and we don't want to. But sometimes we just want that escape. that moment of madness to be shown on a big screen with good sound system.
But yes. In case anyone's wondering, i'm fine. Just thought that the above was something i held to myself for too long now and that now that it does not play any significant role anywhere, like world war I espionage reports or something, perhaps it can finally be written.
but nonetheless, a toast to all the Toms in the world to find Autumn.
and Jon, your toast will come tomorrow. my place.
And its 49 days. to what i would have once called freedom and what my parents call unemployment in this great snakes and ladders game of life. And as i approach it, and as life gets better, the feeling gets wierder. Like, i am not so sure i can call it freedom anymore cos it isn't. I mean, there's still lots after the organisation, responsibilities, authority things like that. And perhaps i never will be totally free. But yeah. the end of these 49 days is still a day i look forward to day and night and every half a minute in between them.
and talking bout number of days and milestones and such. Just watched 500days of summer with Reubs, Joko and Jon. While i wouldn't deny that its a great show. unorthodox, but nonetheless a good movie. I found it too close to heart to be comfortable with. and so too do Jon. You know months back i wrote something bout the so called myth of uniquity, bout how our lives cease to be unique at some point, bout how sometimes you see a movie or hear a song that you say 'damn, that's my story' and that suddenly you see all around you that everyone's having the same feeling? This is one of those movie. especially to me and perhaps Jon. You know how sometimes this kinda stuff evoke memories, and perhaps feelings long gone? feelings of frustration and anger, of denial and angst. And when you hope the protagonist does the thing you always wanted to do, perhaps at that moment where the lives collide, that guy in the movie just does what you actually did, like walk away and say, 'Hey, all the best, i wish you well' or something like that instead of pushing her off the cliff or taking out a pistol and say 'hasta la vista, baby' or something. Or perhaps slapping the girl or something when told of the news instead of going to a bed to languish for days.
That's why i like south park. That's why i like traditional alpha-male action movies like the old james bonds and taken and stuff like that. That guy in there is just so unlike us. We know we can never be him, and we don't want to. But sometimes we just want that escape. that moment of madness to be shown on a big screen with good sound system.
But yes. In case anyone's wondering, i'm fine. Just thought that the above was something i held to myself for too long now and that now that it does not play any significant role anywhere, like world war I espionage reports or something, perhaps it can finally be written.
but nonetheless, a toast to all the Toms in the world to find Autumn.
and Jon, your toast will come tomorrow. my place.
Saturday, 17 October 2009
Monday, 12 October 2009
well. Its hours to the 'holiday', so just though that it was customary for me to at least write something here.
It has certainly been great, staying at home, doing a little more than nothing. read a book for the first time since forever. and actually sat in front of the television for an hour. more of these days will come when i return from brunei.
Seems wierd that i am hours away from brunei but yet it don't feel anything as though i am going overseas for an extended period of time. Maybe i have grown used to this lifestyle. Maybe i have adapted to the organisation. Well of course i did. As Randall pointed out. There are skills that is necessary in the organisation that are inapplicable or not recommended for outside life. Things like faking an injury or sickness, widely frowned on by the society outside, carries with it a certain amount of prestige and greatness in the organisation when practiced in moderate amounts against higher ups who basically, deserved it. Things like lying to avoid work, harmful for oneself and ones chances of promotion outside, seem to be an indispensable skill that everyone must have in the organisation.
Need to lose those 'skills' bit by bit now.
bloody organisation.
It has certainly been great, staying at home, doing a little more than nothing. read a book for the first time since forever. and actually sat in front of the television for an hour. more of these days will come when i return from brunei.
Seems wierd that i am hours away from brunei but yet it don't feel anything as though i am going overseas for an extended period of time. Maybe i have grown used to this lifestyle. Maybe i have adapted to the organisation. Well of course i did. As Randall pointed out. There are skills that is necessary in the organisation that are inapplicable or not recommended for outside life. Things like faking an injury or sickness, widely frowned on by the society outside, carries with it a certain amount of prestige and greatness in the organisation when practiced in moderate amounts against higher ups who basically, deserved it. Things like lying to avoid work, harmful for oneself and ones chances of promotion outside, seem to be an indispensable skill that everyone must have in the organisation.
Need to lose those 'skills' bit by bit now.
bloody organisation.
Saturday, 10 October 2009
just went out for dinner and l4d with my great zombie-slaying friends, Zhou "i-don't-care-who-gets-hurt-as-long-as-the-zombie-dies" Qixiang, Reuben "Sacrificial rambo" James and Joel "noob" ko. haha. Next time. we'll complete that mission.
Anyway. as i was going to dinner just now. I came across this group of ppl for the umpteenth time at the MRT station. "Hi, sorry to bother you, do you have a few minutes to spare", they will say, as though they are programmed to do so. And then proceed on to say how they are recently released convicts and want a second chance. and asks me for $2. Look. These guys aren't a charity, or a non-profit organisation or anything. The money i would have given them would have went into their pockets as they continued to 'look' for work. What i don't understand is that if they could spend hours hanging around MRT stations asking for 2 bucks, why can't they go interview for some job? Mcdonalds down the road is hiring. So is KFC, or burger King. or plenty of other places. Sure its low paying and at best a temporary job, but is it not good enough for these of high and noble, second-chance deserving ex-convicts. Sometimes i wonder how these ex-convicts really want to change, after all, i do believe we are not such a close-minded society like the one in 1800 France potrayed in les miserables. So please, for goodness sake, get a job, forget about the past, and move on. How can we 'unlock the second prison' if you want to stay behind it yourself?
Anyway. as i was going to dinner just now. I came across this group of ppl for the umpteenth time at the MRT station. "Hi, sorry to bother you, do you have a few minutes to spare", they will say, as though they are programmed to do so. And then proceed on to say how they are recently released convicts and want a second chance. and asks me for $2. Look. These guys aren't a charity, or a non-profit organisation or anything. The money i would have given them would have went into their pockets as they continued to 'look' for work. What i don't understand is that if they could spend hours hanging around MRT stations asking for 2 bucks, why can't they go interview for some job? Mcdonalds down the road is hiring. So is KFC, or burger King. or plenty of other places. Sure its low paying and at best a temporary job, but is it not good enough for these of high and noble, second-chance deserving ex-convicts. Sometimes i wonder how these ex-convicts really want to change, after all, i do believe we are not such a close-minded society like the one in 1800 France potrayed in les miserables. So please, for goodness sake, get a job, forget about the past, and move on. How can we 'unlock the second prison' if you want to stay behind it yourself?
Friday, 9 October 2009
bored
How awesome is it to have 2 weeks of 3 days off. Just sitting around looking at clouds floating by, enjoying music and movies and games. Playing guitar and singing songs to myself. Trying to plan trips and giving up just to hunt monsters, and subsequently giving that up too after failing a few times. Its been long since i felt this relaxed.
Going to brunei after this weekend for a 'holiday' or so the organisation tells us. With mosquitoes the size of my thumb and vegetation as dense as mercury, its hard to see why i would not have a fantastic time there. But oh wells. Its one last thing before i bid farewell to the organisation.
Things have been changing round my workplace. With new people assuming leadership roles. I dunno if its inertia or something, but the new just do not seem to match the old. What's with the new ideas and methods and workflow? The current situation is there because of a reason. Because it gets work done. This is not your company for goodness sake. And i don't get paid $3000 a mth. So, No, I am not going to put in $3000 worth of work.
Luckily i am leaving.
I'm so bored.
So. So. Bored.
So. So. So. So. Bored.
Going to brunei after this weekend for a 'holiday' or so the organisation tells us. With mosquitoes the size of my thumb and vegetation as dense as mercury, its hard to see why i would not have a fantastic time there. But oh wells. Its one last thing before i bid farewell to the organisation.
Things have been changing round my workplace. With new people assuming leadership roles. I dunno if its inertia or something, but the new just do not seem to match the old. What's with the new ideas and methods and workflow? The current situation is there because of a reason. Because it gets work done. This is not your company for goodness sake. And i don't get paid $3000 a mth. So, No, I am not going to put in $3000 worth of work.
Luckily i am leaving.
I'm so bored.
So. So. Bored.
So. So. So. So. Bored.
Saturday, 26 September 2009
september's end
As i wake to september's end. I suddenly realised how little days of nights i have left. Just a few more hours of the organisation till i am done with my 'duties' for life. No more forced servitude. No more will i have names other than my own forced onto me.
Was eating with the guys yesterday at simpang. Where they tried once again to convince me that the organisation has done me no injustice. So they tried. Since i had more time than i should here today at my home away from home. I was thinking a little about what they said and yeah. what a certain someone from some feedback unit who called said.
Ok. before i get carried away. Stop. Not gonna jeopardise what's a few work days away.
Was eating with the guys yesterday at simpang. Where they tried once again to convince me that the organisation has done me no injustice. So they tried. Since i had more time than i should here today at my home away from home. I was thinking a little about what they said and yeah. what a certain someone from some feedback unit who called said.
Ok. before i get carried away. Stop. Not gonna jeopardise what's a few work days away.
Whenever I look back
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on T.V.
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be
Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But time won't let me go
On the best days of my life
I think I saw them all on T.V.
I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be
Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But time won't let me go
But they must.
OR_ LOH!
Just D__s remain..
can't wait.
P.s. You know i am seriously very bored, when i come out with a nonsense post like this.
OR_ LOH!
Just D__s remain..
can't wait.
P.s. You know i am seriously very bored, when i come out with a nonsense post like this.
Monday, 21 September 2009
To say nothing happened this few days will be an outright lie. But like a man nearing the end of his life, such petty misunderstandings and arguments suddenly just seem so trivial and unworthy of comment. But of course, i still can't cos i have to at least care about how others would view me. even after i go.
As things draw to a close. You begin to look back and reflect on what was good, what was useful, and what was neither. Have i done a service? I would have say yes. Have i did my best? Most definitely, not. Will i miss that place? Hell, no. Maybe some of the people and some of the times. But hell, i would one hell like to be out smelling the sweet scent of freedom.
Money problems is still giving me hell. not the on the micro-economic equivalent side of my finance but more on a macro-economic scale. Uni is gonna cost a bomb. And the worst thing is i can't have a say in it. Its one of those choices where Lord Vetinari would have put through. "Either accept my offer, or just walk through that door." and just outside the door is a steep drop thousand feet down. An impossible choice, but a choice nonetheless.
Damn.
Booking in for another long long week.
As things draw to a close. You begin to look back and reflect on what was good, what was useful, and what was neither. Have i done a service? I would have say yes. Have i did my best? Most definitely, not. Will i miss that place? Hell, no. Maybe some of the people and some of the times. But hell, i would one hell like to be out smelling the sweet scent of freedom.
Money problems is still giving me hell. not the on the micro-economic equivalent side of my finance but more on a macro-economic scale. Uni is gonna cost a bomb. And the worst thing is i can't have a say in it. Its one of those choices where Lord Vetinari would have put through. "Either accept my offer, or just walk through that door." and just outside the door is a steep drop thousand feet down. An impossible choice, but a choice nonetheless.
Damn.
Booking in for another long long week.
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
patchwork of randomness.
Its been a week or so since i was here. Days are getting better, shorter and much more enjoyable with the new management. whatever people says about the old guard, the new is better. definitely. Started exercising since the longest of time. And then found this article on the strait times saying that how much motivation and enthusiasm one has towards exercise maybe genetic. So yeah. BLAME the genes! haha. its not my fault for not exercising! haha.
Met up with dyb guys after quite a long time. A few of them at least. Sang a few songs, some of which reminded me of some days long past. Days that quite honestly i forgotten. But you know how such things sometimes crawl back, just a little perhaps, maybe on an unusually long bus ride, or during a flash of history replayed. But yeah. I'm gonna find, another you..
It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as was your plan
But when my loneliness is through, i'm gonna find another you
You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhyme
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you
When i was your lover
No one else would do
If i'm forced to find another i hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too, yeah
So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Oh, now i'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't let me do
Oh i'm gonna find another you
which is a darn awesome song
hopefully a friend will feel that way too.
Inspired by John Mayer. awesome stuff.
Can't survive much longer without money. which is why a reshuffling of plans is needed. I can't survive on instant noodles on wkends. Not over my dead body I'm not eating instant noodles during the wkends. Its just wrong, to eat such horrible tasting and low nutrition food after a week of suffering in camp.
Why can't i just strike the lottery.
Puff the magic dragon is in the medical center. and my friend is chasing it. wth. lol.
what a patchwork of randomness.
till next time then/
Met up with dyb guys after quite a long time. A few of them at least. Sang a few songs, some of which reminded me of some days long past. Days that quite honestly i forgotten. But you know how such things sometimes crawl back, just a little perhaps, maybe on an unusually long bus ride, or during a flash of history replayed. But yeah. I'm gonna find, another you..
It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as was your plan
But when my loneliness is through, i'm gonna find another you
You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhyme
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you
When i was your lover
No one else would do
If i'm forced to find another i hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too, yeah
So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Oh, now i'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't let me do
Oh i'm gonna find another you
which is a darn awesome song
hopefully a friend will feel that way too.
Inspired by John Mayer. awesome stuff.
Can't survive much longer without money. which is why a reshuffling of plans is needed. I can't survive on instant noodles on wkends. Not over my dead body I'm not eating instant noodles during the wkends. Its just wrong, to eat such horrible tasting and low nutrition food after a week of suffering in camp.
Why can't i just strike the lottery.
Puff the magic dragon is in the medical center. and my friend is chasing it. wth. lol.
what a patchwork of randomness.
till next time then/
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