sick.

lolz. went skool in morn only to come back earlier due to a increasing temp. now damn drowsy from the medication given. should not have done pe just now.

just now discussed or somewhat argued about ns with ray n bain. with them branding me all sorts of names. but i remained unfazed. to me, NS is a bullshit time wasting thing which just disrupts everything. n dun gimme tt load of crap bout the honor n pride of serving the nation blah blah blah. tt. to me. is just propaganda to ensure tt ppl have an excuse of liking ns. and do anyone truly think tt if one day, we were attacked by, say iran or north korea, we would be able to stop their nuclear onslaught? wake up. this aint a game. ppl die in NS. and i am determined to get as safe a job as possible. the best is clerk of cos. n dun gimme tt" its an honor to die for e country", so what if u could have a flag on top of your coffin... as if anyone will remember you after only 50 yrs. or even 2-3 yrs. think about it. how many of us remember the army deaths tt happened? mayb it would cause a stir awhile.. mayb it will remain in the hearts of his relatives.. but 流芳百世?.. i doubt it.

also. its not tt i dun wanna train. its just tt there is no point. 2 wks to accomplish this 5 pull ups? why try so hard? instead. why couldn't i do it slowly. take it a step at a time. and finally pass the august one... its not about effort.. its about pragmatism. and pragmatism is just what singapore govt has been teaching. Also. you talk about NS building social cohesion, protecting the country. etc... yeah.. plenty of benifits... but where's my share? yeah.. talk about building friendships. building character.. blah.. but given a choice i rather go to uni and make friends there.. and build character there as well. but look at the price of NS. 1st. we are now 2 yrs behind. many will say, what is 2 yrs? but this will significantly set us back. esp some countries already have a head start. and we guys will be 2 yrs back in everything.. talk econs. the oppotunity cost for the person is far too high. even if i just worked as a part timer. i would have earnt more than tt meagre army allowance. .... 2nd.. need i say anything more....

and oh yeah. i am a quitter. not tt i quit everything. but if war was to erupt. I will be amongst the first to run. wherever to. and many may say not and look down on me. but if war really was to break out.. i guess it would be more 五十步笑百步... "at least i didn't say i will run 1st" or " at least i ran later"... but i do not quit everything.. i will 拼 for things tt i deem useful and helpful towards me.. an example of something? o levels. and i am definitely gonna 拼 for a levels.. it aint natpha. and NS. millions have survived without a natpha test past but how many rich man have you seen without even a bachelor degree. again, its not about honor, pride, or anything.. its about pragmatism and mayb a certain extent of WELL-UTILISED effort. and i stress well utilised. which means to me. fighting for things tt will gimme benifits. 人不为己,天诛地灭.

but i have accepted as NS as inevietable after deciding to stay in singapore. so im just gonna go in with an open mind.. be it 4 more wks or no 4 more wks. and try to take the best out of it. think of it as paying for citizenship.

there is more reasons i dun like NS inside me.. but i am keeping them inside cos i scared getting sued. so tt's all for now.. have to go slp liao.. head hurting like mad. eyes closing. temperature rising again. got 1 day MC for tomorrow.. but should be going to skool.. cos its not worth missing.

till nxt time. lol