Dreams of the dreamer

Perhaps its an birthday thing.
Or perhaps its the fact that December is on the seat.
Or maybe its just a random occurrence associated with boredom.
Been feeling down, or emo, as some may put it.
Not for any issues related to love or whatever.
But of army yet again.
Just when army is getting acceptable,
Bombshells have to be dropped.
Making me know that this really ain't for me.
slightly less than a year ago,
I resolved to be positive about all this.
Of captive days and emo nights.
Of trying to hold strong and not crumble.
And i hope that resolve is still there.
Outfield this week.
Again.
Add a Sergeant-Major who just decided to revert to trainee style.
and a bruised knee.
Do not like to wish for bygone days,
or future times.
Times of freedom.
But the year have been rough for most of it.
BMT and early enlistment means i was in army 48 hours after turning 18.
Then came what was a happy 6 months?
6 months where i lost myself trying to find exactly that.
6 months of thinking just for thinking's sake.
6 months of not knowing direction.
then things got downhill.
And rough.
My luck haven't turned.
Yet.
Guess the dance with Life continues.

Was reading through my blog posts of old, sort of a yearly custom which i follow every year. reading back to get an idea of what happened during the year and what changes happened. and yeah. since there is only 2 more weeks till i head for NZ and the new year. there isn't much time left for reflections. which is why i am doing that now.

So yeah.

Till nxt time.