In Narnia, they call it the Island of Ramadu.
In a football match, this is the 88th minute.
In a race, they call it the final sprint.
In world war II, they called it the battle of Stalingrad.
In my life, I call it the A levels.
For this is truly the beginning of the end.
One of those milestones in life where one must face.
Want, I do, to say that these are the times I live for,
The duels for a knight.
Though a prince and a king I hope to be,
But given a choice,
I do not want to fight this war.
Not scared, just have this feeling inside me,
Saying if i screw up now, I am done for for life.
And somehow i fear it will be prophetic.
Yes, some call it nervous.
Maybe I am.
The months of mugging.
Days of Emoing
Hours of typing this.
Minutes of getting those thought sorted out in my head.
All this will hopefully pay off.
Did the Physics specimen paper today. The last paper 3 i was able to lay my hands on. Ok. There still are a few on blackboard. but i did printed some. And all the papers i was able to get not bad marks. Normally due to many good questions and one bad questions. But wad if the paper tomorrow will be the mixture of all these bad questions? i dare not think. Worrier i may be, Worrier i am. I could not live and let live. Its just one kind of a pre-exam, waddyacallit?, ritual for me. Must emo.
Hopefully. I could do it.
On a brighter note. To everyone, yeah, those ppl mentioned in the farewell post, to all taking the a levels. Good Luck. Godspeed. And may the best be the best.
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Monday, 29 October 2007
Monday, 9 July 2007
Ascension
Happy right now. to say the least. Got the Ace in maths i have been aiming for finally after so long. partially lucky. most of my unsure parts turned out correct. instead it was those which i was sure that wasnt right. which in a way is a problem on its own. but that can wait. or at least that can be solved i think. yeah. didnt get any question fully correct. always had a part here or there wrong. but at least this Ace is finally a sign that i am heading the right way.
was thinking bout aspirations and stuff. and grades. and yeah. trying to aim high now. after all, when ppl mention gd grades in the class, they think of kailee, jingqing, pk etc. and i am not in the list, nor do i think i will ever be there among the 'elites' of top scorers. but i am damn gonna try hard to be as near as i am to that man. sure i may falter along the way. and this may just be such a post where i was inspired by a single good result. but. yeah. even if i may fail terribly in the end. at least i am gonna damn hard try. Ace for Ascension. I am rising man. no one is taking me down. not even chem or econs tomorrow and friday.
Going to study soon. till nxt time.. lolz.
The lantern lights up his ring.
"Aces. Assemble"
moving out. moving up. haha
inspired.
till nxt time.
was thinking bout aspirations and stuff. and grades. and yeah. trying to aim high now. after all, when ppl mention gd grades in the class, they think of kailee, jingqing, pk etc. and i am not in the list, nor do i think i will ever be there among the 'elites' of top scorers. but i am damn gonna try hard to be as near as i am to that man. sure i may falter along the way. and this may just be such a post where i was inspired by a single good result. but. yeah. even if i may fail terribly in the end. at least i am gonna damn hard try. Ace for Ascension. I am rising man. no one is taking me down. not even chem or econs tomorrow and friday.
Going to study soon. till nxt time.. lolz.
The lantern lights up his ring.
"Aces. Assemble"
moving out. moving up. haha
inspired.
till nxt time.
Sunday, 8 July 2007
The long day. closes
firstly. screw Top 3 Achievements. screw it.
anyway. had a tiring day. busy from morn till night.
Morn went science center with my guest and my family of course. and its like right at the other end of singapore. saw the china inventions exibition which was quite boring. actually very. and i was bored out of my nuts and started thinking of rubbish there. After that went IMM for the afternoon for lunch and afterwhich walked around there till like 5pm? 6? not sure.. anyway. after that. went eat dinner.. den came home.. at which i have been on the com till now. Doing what else but the hated T3A. mine quite short. cos i am afterall a great slacker. and haven really did much of anything. argh. this is simply not my cup of T3a... lolz.
real tired. why cant life be easier. why cant ppl stick with tried and tested methods. why dont just ask teachers to write some testimonial. instead of making something so difficult called a School Graduation Cert. seriously, i think it is overrated.. this business of moving away from academic achievements only. not that i am a mugger and believe the only way to greatness is to mug non stop 24/7. Its just, if u can't even get decent grades, i dun see the point in excelling in other stuff. Its like who wants a student who could do every thing in the world but study. It will be like useless. and i certainly dun wan doctors of the future to be some brute who only excelled in sports or something. Like in fantastic 4, Reed Richards said something to the captain of the army or something something like that. like "The quarterback only remained a quarterback while i became one of the greatest minds on earth".. I respect sportsmen, i honour them, its just i really think some of the MOE new policies are overrated. And having been to NZ, which in a way does not put as much emphasis on grades, i dont see anything similar there. i do not see students writing testimonials for themselves, and they did get the world best scorer for the international GCE A levels last yr, didn't they? i may be wrong about everything. but one could have his views cant he?
School should be more a breeze than this is. Life should be easier.
actually planned to try and do my tutorials tonight. but stupid t3a has drained me too much. its too tiring. contacting ppl, writing, boasting, praising oneself. and having have to ask ppl for evidences to support your boasts. i dun understand this. mayb i have been too slack. perhaps if i have worked abit harder last time i would not have ended up this way.
Sometimes i just dream, of a place like narnia, where i do not not learn, but where life is a much more direct route, of adventures and miracles. Not of laws and emptiness. I may be weak, but i would rather wield a sword than my pen. I would rather fight dragons than prove hypothesis. I would rather believe in a flat world than in quantum physics. Call me a fool, "say that i'm a dreamer", but let me tell you, "i am not the only one".. and "perhaps one day, you will join us".. and "the world will live as one"... haha.
its still a long lap to go. but my legs are already hurting. dunno if i could carry myself through all this.. this has to be the toughest battle i ever faced. but i know i must fight on.
“Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.”
- Winston Churchill
yeah.. that pretty sums up everything again. without victory over this ogre called A levels. I would be dead.
nth much else..
till nxt time. yeah. and for today at least.. The long day..... closes....
anyway. had a tiring day. busy from morn till night.
Morn went science center with my guest and my family of course. and its like right at the other end of singapore. saw the china inventions exibition which was quite boring. actually very. and i was bored out of my nuts and started thinking of rubbish there. After that went IMM for the afternoon for lunch and afterwhich walked around there till like 5pm? 6? not sure.. anyway. after that. went eat dinner.. den came home.. at which i have been on the com till now. Doing what else but the hated T3A. mine quite short. cos i am afterall a great slacker. and haven really did much of anything. argh. this is simply not my cup of T3a... lolz.
real tired. why cant life be easier. why cant ppl stick with tried and tested methods. why dont just ask teachers to write some testimonial. instead of making something so difficult called a School Graduation Cert. seriously, i think it is overrated.. this business of moving away from academic achievements only. not that i am a mugger and believe the only way to greatness is to mug non stop 24/7. Its just, if u can't even get decent grades, i dun see the point in excelling in other stuff. Its like who wants a student who could do every thing in the world but study. It will be like useless. and i certainly dun wan doctors of the future to be some brute who only excelled in sports or something. Like in fantastic 4, Reed Richards said something to the captain of the army or something something like that. like "The quarterback only remained a quarterback while i became one of the greatest minds on earth".. I respect sportsmen, i honour them, its just i really think some of the MOE new policies are overrated. And having been to NZ, which in a way does not put as much emphasis on grades, i dont see anything similar there. i do not see students writing testimonials for themselves, and they did get the world best scorer for the international GCE A levels last yr, didn't they? i may be wrong about everything. but one could have his views cant he?
School should be more a breeze than this is. Life should be easier.
actually planned to try and do my tutorials tonight. but stupid t3a has drained me too much. its too tiring. contacting ppl, writing, boasting, praising oneself. and having have to ask ppl for evidences to support your boasts. i dun understand this. mayb i have been too slack. perhaps if i have worked abit harder last time i would not have ended up this way.
Sometimes i just dream, of a place like narnia, where i do not not learn, but where life is a much more direct route, of adventures and miracles. Not of laws and emptiness. I may be weak, but i would rather wield a sword than my pen. I would rather fight dragons than prove hypothesis. I would rather believe in a flat world than in quantum physics. Call me a fool, "say that i'm a dreamer", but let me tell you, "i am not the only one".. and "perhaps one day, you will join us".. and "the world will live as one"... haha.
its still a long lap to go. but my legs are already hurting. dunno if i could carry myself through all this.. this has to be the toughest battle i ever faced. but i know i must fight on.
“Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.”
- Winston Churchill
yeah.. that pretty sums up everything again. without victory over this ogre called A levels. I would be dead.
nth much else..
till nxt time. yeah. and for today at least.. The long day..... closes....
Thursday, 5 July 2007
Stagflation
A time of little growth and high unemployment.
A time like now. lolz.
just got back physics CT2 papers. cant exactly say i am really spectacularly bout it. but seeing many ppl do worst than me i am thankful i did well. yeah. did not achieve my A again. this time missing out cos i had 3 marks deducted for units and significant figures.. which, had they not be deducted, would make my percentage.. 69.5...... which after rounding off, would be an A. lolz.. yeah. but still thankful though.. haha. just could have done better.. but maybe.. haha. the main thing is not the results.. yeah.. haha..
going out soon to meet our old friend Joko who has returned.. lolz. for a while.. lolz.. yeah.. cant wait.. lolz.
haha.
till nxt time.
A time like now. lolz.
just got back physics CT2 papers. cant exactly say i am really spectacularly bout it. but seeing many ppl do worst than me i am thankful i did well. yeah. did not achieve my A again. this time missing out cos i had 3 marks deducted for units and significant figures.. which, had they not be deducted, would make my percentage.. 69.5...... which after rounding off, would be an A. lolz.. yeah. but still thankful though.. haha. just could have done better.. but maybe.. haha. the main thing is not the results.. yeah.. haha..
going out soon to meet our old friend Joko who has returned.. lolz. for a while.. lolz.. yeah.. cant wait.. lolz.
haha.
till nxt time.
Thursday, 14 June 2007
home alone
and so my 2 days alone in singapore are over after my parents returned from malaysia today. or more accurately. just now.
haha. it has been fun. staying up late till 2. and stuff.. and totally no one around to disturb me.. though the sound of silence is quite unbearable.. yeah. silence has a sound.. and when one is alone, one can hear it. The murmur of fans, the bristling of leaves, the beating of the heart... etc. haha.. when u are alone.. you see more... lolz..
now think sandman is seriously cool. lolz.. u all should read his quotes here.haha Coolness. if only literature was like this i would have taken literature instead of kuku econs. haha.. econs is seriously difficult thing to study.. one chapter of econs is like equivalent to the whole of organic chem.. seriously. screw econs. And THANK YOU. Mr Keynes, Mr Friedman, Mr Ball. and all of you who contributed one way and another to making econs econs. you have just made at least one life miserable.
"Desire… Never a possession, always the possessor, with skin as pale as smoke, and eyes tawny and sharp as yellow wine: Desire is everything you have ever wanted. Whoever you are. Whatever you are. Everything."- a quote from Sandman.. alongside many others which i think is cool..
anyway.. an update on the current situation for my probable NZ thingy. it turns out that it is not that confirm i would be going anyway. cos my father just accepted a job offer on marina bay sands or something. which is quite cool cos that means i will be related somehow to the IR again. lolz. cos its good pay and it would be better to work and mayb send gimme a wider choice on where to go anyway. lolz. and so i continue my journey towards.. dunno.. destiny?
one day i will figure that out.. and dunno.. attempt anything... cos "It is sometimes a mistake to climb, it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt". and yeah.. if it was a mistake.. at least i would know that in some parallel universe where i might have been wiser.. i would have chose the right thing.. haha.. but now.. this universe is the most important one.. lolz..
and... getting fed up with the whu constant link with darren bent.. i mean he is good.. but not 18m good.. at most maybe i think 10m? 12m? would be reasonable although already expensive. and he is not worth 6 Benayouns... and benayoun is definitely not worth only 3m. at least 15m i say. maybe a bit over expensive.. but i think he is good and we should keep him... and dun buy anyone for 18m. unless its tevez we are talking about.. or quaresma... haha.
sian..
nth much else.. my tiempo spoilt.. now need a new pair of tiempo.. or mayb 2. haha.. wan the black and white one.. seriously cool. black tick on white... haha.. will see how...
mayb catching another movie tomorrow... hope so.... oceans.. here i come.. and wait a while silver surfer.. haha.
till nxt time...
haha. it has been fun. staying up late till 2. and stuff.. and totally no one around to disturb me.. though the sound of silence is quite unbearable.. yeah. silence has a sound.. and when one is alone, one can hear it. The murmur of fans, the bristling of leaves, the beating of the heart... etc. haha.. when u are alone.. you see more... lolz..
now think sandman is seriously cool. lolz.. u all should read his quotes here.haha Coolness. if only literature was like this i would have taken literature instead of kuku econs. haha.. econs is seriously difficult thing to study.. one chapter of econs is like equivalent to the whole of organic chem.. seriously. screw econs. And THANK YOU. Mr Keynes, Mr Friedman, Mr Ball. and all of you who contributed one way and another to making econs econs. you have just made at least one life miserable.
"Desire… Never a possession, always the possessor, with skin as pale as smoke, and eyes tawny and sharp as yellow wine: Desire is everything you have ever wanted. Whoever you are. Whatever you are. Everything."- a quote from Sandman.. alongside many others which i think is cool..
anyway.. an update on the current situation for my probable NZ thingy. it turns out that it is not that confirm i would be going anyway. cos my father just accepted a job offer on marina bay sands or something. which is quite cool cos that means i will be related somehow to the IR again. lolz. cos its good pay and it would be better to work and mayb send gimme a wider choice on where to go anyway. lolz. and so i continue my journey towards.. dunno.. destiny?
one day i will figure that out.. and dunno.. attempt anything... cos "It is sometimes a mistake to climb, it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt". and yeah.. if it was a mistake.. at least i would know that in some parallel universe where i might have been wiser.. i would have chose the right thing.. haha.. but now.. this universe is the most important one.. lolz..
and... getting fed up with the whu constant link with darren bent.. i mean he is good.. but not 18m good.. at most maybe i think 10m? 12m? would be reasonable although already expensive. and he is not worth 6 Benayouns... and benayoun is definitely not worth only 3m. at least 15m i say. maybe a bit over expensive.. but i think he is good and we should keep him... and dun buy anyone for 18m. unless its tevez we are talking about.. or quaresma... haha.
sian..
nth much else.. my tiempo spoilt.. now need a new pair of tiempo.. or mayb 2. haha.. wan the black and white one.. seriously cool. black tick on white... haha.. will see how...
mayb catching another movie tomorrow... hope so.... oceans.. here i come.. and wait a while silver surfer.. haha.
till nxt time...
Saturday, 9 June 2007
resurfaced
lost avenues and hopes are resurfacing.. lolz. like the NZ one. lol. now contemplating a move there again.. cos if i am gonna study medcine.. there is the most probable route i could go.. if i do not get any scholarship or anything to finance me. cos studying medcine in aust will cost 450k or nearly half a million sing. and nz.. if i go as a 'local' student will only cost a third of that sum. lolz.
so now thinking... roads have sunk before and are rebuilt.. perhaps this is one of those....
and i miss the beutiful sky there.. and the stars.... and the landscape. mayb i juz went in at the wrong place at the wrong time... or mayb i am ready to give it a second chance again... last time i went as a human.. but now.. i will go as a champion.. one who has potential to overcome fear..a green lantern.
maybe its not the last time i would blog under the stars..
but anything would have to wait at least 2 yrs. cos of NS. lolz. but not plenty of time to think.
cos the thing expires 2008.. and i have to do a decision by this yr.. or heck this mth.. i must decide. crossroads again...
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
How many paths does a man has to choose
Before he can see the light?
well the 2nd line was added by me.. and well the answer my friend is blowing in the wind.. the answer is blowing in the wind.... and listen to the wind i shall.... but there is no wind now cos i am in a room.. lolz..
anyway.. went watch shrek wif zhou reub n ran juz now.. For those who have saw it. congrats, you like us, have been conned. For those who hadnt let you be warned.. I am not one who critisize lots of movies.. in fact i like most movies i watch.. but this is a waste of money. just wait for it on channel 5.
sian..
黑色幽默
zzz.. should go slp soon...
till nxt time...
so now thinking... roads have sunk before and are rebuilt.. perhaps this is one of those....
and i miss the beutiful sky there.. and the stars.... and the landscape. mayb i juz went in at the wrong place at the wrong time... or mayb i am ready to give it a second chance again... last time i went as a human.. but now.. i will go as a champion.. one who has potential to overcome fear..a green lantern.
maybe its not the last time i would blog under the stars..
but anything would have to wait at least 2 yrs. cos of NS. lolz. but not plenty of time to think.
cos the thing expires 2008.. and i have to do a decision by this yr.. or heck this mth.. i must decide. crossroads again...
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
How many paths does a man has to choose
Before he can see the light?
well the 2nd line was added by me.. and well the answer my friend is blowing in the wind.. the answer is blowing in the wind.... and listen to the wind i shall.... but there is no wind now cos i am in a room.. lolz..
anyway.. went watch shrek wif zhou reub n ran juz now.. For those who have saw it. congrats, you like us, have been conned. For those who hadnt let you be warned.. I am not one who critisize lots of movies.. in fact i like most movies i watch.. but this is a waste of money. just wait for it on channel 5.
sian..
黑色幽默
zzz.. should go slp soon...
till nxt time...
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
Que Sera Sera
lolz. all spas are finally over... and another torturous part of JC life draws to a close.. no more PW, no more SPA. and soon it will be the end of As too. lolz.
over this few days have been thinking alot.. lolz. largely due to the scholarship talk in skool and the recievement of my NS enlistment letter. lolz. forced me to think about my future. of what do i want to be. lolz. i always wanted to take something beyond normal. something unusual. I can't be a doctor. cos i noe i am not up to it. I can't be someone working in the financial sector. I have simply no interest cept mayb to open a toy shop and restaurant, but i will need something to fall back on in case my businesses fail. I can't be an accountant. Its too normal for me. I have thought of being a comic artist working at marvel, recreating the heroes i worship. or an architect, turning my blocks of lego into real buildings. When i was in H3, i thought pharmacy would suit me.. but seems not. lolz. so i am left with engineering.. but seeing how tough it is to be a civil engineer, and how little land left to build.. i dun think i wanna be one. lolz. so i explore the less explored regions of engineering.. lolz.. and which i stumbled on material science and enviromental engineering (links to courses from NUS).. 2 of the engineering aspects i am currently interested in.. lolz.. dunno... lolz. i still dream of designing weapons.. lolz. but i dun wanna take electrical engineering or anything like tt.. lolz. sian.. things i decide now will decide how my life becomes. lolz.
haiz. lolz. sian. why is life so complicated. lolz.
sian.. class jersey is a failure.. lolz.. wif less than half the class wanting it. haha...
lolz.. and now i shall go and ponder over my future for the umpteenth time now. lolz.
parents are not in.. lolz. tomorrow must wake super early n go skool myself again... sad life for me....
When life sucks.... even FM sucks.. lolz.
随缘吧。
now suddenly think of one song.. lolz. which considerably calmed me and stopped me from thinking too much
Que Sera Sera
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
yeah.. wad will be.. will be... lolz.
till nxt time...
over this few days have been thinking alot.. lolz. largely due to the scholarship talk in skool and the recievement of my NS enlistment letter. lolz. forced me to think about my future. of what do i want to be. lolz. i always wanted to take something beyond normal. something unusual. I can't be a doctor. cos i noe i am not up to it. I can't be someone working in the financial sector. I have simply no interest cept mayb to open a toy shop and restaurant, but i will need something to fall back on in case my businesses fail. I can't be an accountant. Its too normal for me. I have thought of being a comic artist working at marvel, recreating the heroes i worship. or an architect, turning my blocks of lego into real buildings. When i was in H3, i thought pharmacy would suit me.. but seems not. lolz. so i am left with engineering.. but seeing how tough it is to be a civil engineer, and how little land left to build.. i dun think i wanna be one. lolz. so i explore the less explored regions of engineering.. lolz.. and which i stumbled on material science and enviromental engineering (links to courses from NUS).. 2 of the engineering aspects i am currently interested in.. lolz.. dunno... lolz. i still dream of designing weapons.. lolz. but i dun wanna take electrical engineering or anything like tt.. lolz. sian.. things i decide now will decide how my life becomes. lolz.
haiz. lolz. sian. why is life so complicated. lolz.
sian.. class jersey is a failure.. lolz.. wif less than half the class wanting it. haha...
lolz.. and now i shall go and ponder over my future for the umpteenth time now. lolz.
parents are not in.. lolz. tomorrow must wake super early n go skool myself again... sad life for me....
When life sucks.... even FM sucks.. lolz.
随缘吧。
now suddenly think of one song.. lolz. which considerably calmed me and stopped me from thinking too much
Que Sera Sera
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
yeah.. wad will be.. will be... lolz.
till nxt time...
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