Well. Its been a good wk. and a good wkend. though the start was relatively sucky due to the university posting. But oh wells, i'm well over it. so thanks to all for your concern, haha. I'll bounce back.

Army posting will be on monday, hopefully i get a good one for this at least. somewhere called tekong will do fine for me. or anywhere 8 to 5 will be sweet. but yeah. the probability isnt real good.haha. whatever.

kinda at a loss of inspiration to post this few days. so yeah. shall write more as it comes along.

rejected

just decided to convert my nation from a principality to a marquisdom. Cos i just found out i'm a marquis instead of a prince. and a marquisdom sound a whole lot cooler anyway.

Anyway. I was rejected by NUS medicine, well. they did phrase it well and congratulated me on getting a double degree programme instead. but I'm not ready just yet to give up my dream to be a doctor. The world is huge out there, and if this one doesn't accept me, a hundred others will. Not that i am overconfident or arrogant or anything but yeah, there are 120 accredited medicine courses in the world and until each one of them send me a letter rejecting me, I will not give up. yeah. one day if i get a nobel prize or something, Nus is gonna be in my speech.

Great day.
Wasn't it?
though the rain foiled our initial plans.
Plans are made by us, and
who better to change them than ourselves.
Its gonna be army tomorrow again.
but yeah.
:)
(and i care not for what ppl say bout this but for u. for for you it was written and for you it shall be.)

Well. magic again. :)

Medics- Bloody proud.

Well. Its been yet another 3 months of my military life and my life as a medic trainee is soon coming to an end. And yeah. though i hated that place, can't say i won't miss it at all. I mean. There are some friendship formed. Like say my bunk mates, Sufiyan, The Ting and The paranoid Android (whom i shall not name, for he fears being known), Its been great having u guys as bunk mates and yeah. Dun be angry, Thing.. haha. And there's ppl like Barry, Jun ning, Zhang Hao and many others whom i should name but hadn't. Not that you guys are not important, in fact, every one is to me ( or almost everyone that is). I mean, i wouldn't forget the daily battles i made with zhang hao, or the meals with barry, jun ning, jing yuan, jiang ming, and the others. Or talking to Wei Jun or suang or Matthew or the many others i had spoken to.

Sure, we had had some bad times, and the platoon ain't really as bonded, but i like it this way, with everyone slacking together ( with a few exceptions of course) and yeah, for those who dun, how we hated them together. And yeah, there's some sense of pride after all. From our very very first IV, until now, the 9th and almost last. Can't say i've improved much, but yeah. And all the tests that we had. And yeah, our dear old Sarge C. who manages to piss us off almost everytime.

But yeah, the talking was the best here, like Mr. Paranoia, In him i found a person who viewed life from a different angle, and through this angle i saw life too from a different angle, one i never knew existed at first. And yeah, its real enjoyable talking to him. Best buddies man. haha.


And yeah, 2 of the many pics... I esp like this line.



And no one messes with the mosquito man. :)

bookin in again

going in in around 1 hour again so like always. feeling kinda blue. Its 2 more weeks till POP from BMC and unlike during BMT. there ain't really a sense of camaraderie or anything here. its like everyone is just here to leave. no one wants to be here. And yeah. one of the failures of army. You can try to enforce discipline and morale and everything, but you will never get the hearts of the men serving.

The weekend have been somewhat tamed. cos i think of guests present in my house and more importantly my room. miss my room man. haha. But still did go out quite a fair bit. Fri night, sat day, sat night and sun day. haha. i need those. haha.

otherwise a boring wkend. Football ended. Roma lost out in the last moment. sorta like chelsea. but i like Roma much much much better. I mean. their kit colour is much nicer man. how many teams do u see around in maroon. Not red, but maroon.

nth much else. really.
haiz.

till nxt time.

back to serious stuff. currently feeling super stressed. cos as ppl are starting to get their admissions to NUS medicine. My mailbox still remains blank as ever. empty of any letters with an orange letter head. As though telling that it isnt my destiny to study medicine, here and at all. And i am really stressed and worried.

I shall take other's advice and not think bout it for now. but its difficult. really.

till nxt time

Matter of perspective.

Its all a matter of perspective. The multiple facets of life means that you will see a different colour from every different angle you view it from. And even in identical shades you could feel very different feelings. But yeah. Its all about perspective.

Just around 48 hrs ago, A star imploded. And in its place was a dark hole. huge. dark. all-consuming. And for a moment, I was overwhelmed by the gravity of the situation. Totally sucked in and crushed by my own weight. And for a moment, it felt as though i would never stand again, slowly piled down further by new problems and troubles. But luckily it didn't. I admit. I couldn't have done it myself. And thks my friends. For the msges and calls. They made a hell of a difference. For from their words I was able to go for that one last barrier, that of myself, and break free of that all-consuming gravity. And yeah. I'm well again. And as i said, Its all a matter of perspective. For from earth, when a star leaves, instead of a black hole, comes- the brightest day.

Despite everything. I am kinda fine. Changes that are needed are made or are being made. And things that should remain unchanging are remaining unchanging. And I'm not waiting for anything. Nor am i seeking for anything, new or old. I'll just be here. looking at the world as someone who just escaped the black hole. After all, I would not have been at the far end of the universe if not for you anyway. And ask any crew on board a spacecraft if you could, whether they would prefer going into space and dying there or just staying on the ground and never flying up there.

And yeah.
Its the 7.30 shades once again.
Like i guess what you have been feeling and what you are feeling.
And yeah.
Those shades are depressing,
or mesmerizing and beautiful,
It only depends on how you view it.
Smile. :)

come and gone

Well. another weekend come and gone and this one seems so much busier and yet less exciting than the rest of my wkends.

To start off, let me wish all mothers a very happy mother's day.

went to buy stuff for parents on sat. burned quite a bit of my pay there. seriously need more money. so well. the paypal button is still there for those who appreciate my literary talents on this blog. afterwhich went home and went out again at night with zhou and ran and ate botak jones. haha. quite nice. but yeah. ate dinner twice. haha. Friendship coin. lolz. Today was mostly boredom. especially since i'm booking in real real real soon. and yeah. you do make a difference.

Change.
Is the only constant.
And change is good. Ain't it?
Change means progress.
And well.
sorry bout this weekend.
Didn't do much,
Neither did we talked much.
But I'll make the next better.
I promise.
oh by the way.
Thanks for the cookies.
:)

the crest of wong

well. It has been one hell of a long week. all ending with today.

I shall start from thursday, since i last posted on wednesday. well. i went for the medicine interview on thursday. and seriously, you have those standard post interview feeling that says, ok, i-only-screwed-up-on-like-a-few-questions-but-i-am-still-screwed-beyond-help kinda feeling. but i guess. all in all it went well..

yes. but i will now shift to worst of the 2 days. which is. today. It started out just fine. with everything going according to my ideas. a slack morning. just sitting in the auditorium. afternoon was tiring. with the fire movement and running/dragging/crawling around. but it was the night that really f***ed me up. well. mostly cos i booked out at 9. and also about the people. and how they think and how do i act as a pacifist.

Firstly about how they think. I was asked this question in camp. As a medic, if an enemy falls in front of you, wounded severely, but rescueable, but without your help he will most surely die. Will i save him? an enemy against my cause. or will i leave him to die, giving up my morals for my country? I don't know. some may call me weak and stupid, but given such a choice, i will save the person, even if he was to come back to haunt me and kill my family. At least i guess i would have done my part and if a higher power was to question me on my death, I am ready to answer for my actions. I mean, look, if a war was to break out, i won't even directly shoot an enemy shooting at me. I would rather be shot than to shoot. Many will say that's dumb, but i guess that's my principles. I will not kill or through my actions, directly or indirectly let a person die, no matter for what reason or for what cause. Furthermore, a war is a political battle, when its down to me and a casualty, its now a personal front. like the only difference between him and a comrade is the uniform he's wearing. And a life, is after all, a life.

And also about how to keep the peace in my bunk. who should i help, the deluded, the disillusioned or the disdained? each presents his own case well and i like all 3 of them as bunk mates. but yeah. field camp's coming and i fear for my section. or myself, I'm kinda selfish in this aspect.

on to more cheerful stuff. I have completed the design of the crest of my principality.

well. it isn't much. but it signifies all the important qualities of my nation. I shall elaborate.

Firstly, the symmetrical shape of the crest, signifying equallity of all men under wong and working in harmony towards our common goals.

The seperated two sides, representing personal life and work. and the superimposed scales into the wings, representing balance of these aspects and also representing justice among the people

Black and white. signifying officialdom and the denounciation of usage of means beyond that of pen and paper for defence and offence and the promotion of peace and equailty.

The central column, representing a sword's sheath, showing the country's belief in non-violence and non-military and peace.

The 2 'V's on either side of the central column, signifying the Vision and Vendetta of the founder and leader, Marquis Wong. His vision being a land free from war and and military while maintaining justice and law in the country. and his Vendetta against people who do not agree to his vision.

The vague potrayal of a human face, depicting a humane nation for all to live in.

haha. shall design my flag and other symbols soon.

typing that cheered me up.


haha. nth much else.
till nxt time

midweek break.

having yet another night out and comparing to what others are having. I would say, I am blessed. very. For I need such night outs. just to rest for yet another rest. and this one is especially important. Since i have what could be a future decider tomorrow. but yeah. i'm kinda prepared and i'll just face it with an open mind, a open heart and a mouth that does not open too much.

and a few posts back, i mentioned something bout forgiving and forgetting and that being a paradox and impossible to achieve. but i guess its because i didn't really grasp the full meaning of it yet. cos its actually, despite all my logic, possible. so there's either something wrong bout my logic, or its logic. and i shall not even try to find that answer.

and without a star illuminating somewhere,
colours will not show. ;)